About That Dream I Had Last Night

Hey. I haven’t slept in about three days. Before that, I slept for one night, and then hadn’t for the three days prior to that night. Well, not really. I mean, I’ve been able to get half-asleep, to the point where I start to dream, but I’m not actually sleeping. It’s wicked annoying.

So last night, in my half-asleep state, I had a dream that has left me feeling peaceful all day. There’s really no other word to describe it. I was at a picnic table with my mom, who was sitting across from me. My three siblings were there, too, except they were just in the background. My two friends from the Lion’s Club, Dawn and Jeff, were sitting at the picnic table behind me. I was talking to my mom (I don’t remember about what), and I looked down at the table for a second, and when I looked up, my grandma and grandpa were standing there, to the right of my mom.

Mammy & Papa Cropped

Yes, I know I use this picture a lot, but I just love it.

Now, if you remember, I’ve posted before about how my mom’s parents are both dead. Mammy died in June of 2010, and Papa died in March of 2015. So, in this dream, my dead grandparents are suddenly standing right in front of me. They weren’t angels or anything, and don’t exactly have a heavenly glow around them, but I could tell they were appearing from heaven. I mean, aside from the fact that they’re both dead. They just gave off this aura. I don’t know how to explain it.

As soon as I saw them, I started crying, and when I say (type?) crying, I mean big, ugly sobs. I wasn’t sad, though. I mean, I wasn’t crying because all of a sudden I was filled with this intense happiness, either, like people sometimes talk about, but I wasn’t grieving. The best explanation I can think of is that, in my dream, I was just filled with so much love and awe. I don’t really know.

Anyway, my mom was really worried because I suddenly just started crying my eyes out for no apparent reason, and kept asking me what was wrong. I leaned over to her and whispered in her ear, “I see Mammy and Papa. They’re both standing right there, smiling.” A couple tears slid out of her eyes, and somehow I knew I was the only one who could see them. I leaned back and said to Dawn and Jeff, “I see Mammy and Papa.”. Still sobbing, I looked back at Mammy and Papa and smiled at them. I looked back to Dawn and Jeff and say that they had started to cry, too.

When I looked back, Mammy was gone, and Papa was alone, still smiling and waving at me. Then, he started to fade away, although “fade” isn’t really the right word, exactly. It was more like he was morphing into a bright, soothing, yellow light. After he was gone, I stared at where they were standing, still sobbing more intensely than I ever had before, but feeling extremely at peace, and that was the end of the dream.

It was so nice to see my grandparents again, even in a dream. I was telling my mom about it today, and she said that it seems like Mammy and Papa visited me in a dream, that it wasn’t just my brain coming up with a random scenario for a dream. I’d like to think she’s right.

I’d say I had a pretty amazing start of 2017, wouldn’t you?

-Sam

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I Need Your Help

Hey. So, my family and I have lived in our current home for over eleven years now. Our rent, when added with our usual monthly bills and stuff, consumes almost all of my family’s monthly income. My mom is working a lot of hours per week, at two separate jobs, while somehow continuing to be the primary caretaker of my three younger siblings, as well as the person who keeps the house organized and prevents all hell from breaking loose. My dad, who has very severe chronic pain, hasn’t been able to work for many years (I think it’s been more than four…), and often is unable to help out in his already-limited everyday household happenings, like cooking dinner, driving to the store and stuff, or even helping Amanda (eight years old) and AJ (6 years old) with their homework. I have ADHD, anxiety (which causes OCD), and chronic Lyme, and have also just recently been diagnosed on the low end of the spectrum for Asperger’s (which may also be causing ODD and a mood disorder). Although I do my best to pitch in, I’m not always, um, helpful, and typically my attempts to help out… well, they ultimately add to the chaos (I’m always working on that). My uncle also lives with us on weekends, and my family also includes Burban and Popsicle, a cat and a hamster.

We’re doing very badly financially, frankly. I’m used to it, because we’ve had very little money for the majority of my life. However, even disregarding the fact that it’s never been this bad, no one should have to worry about keeping their children warm and fed with a roof over their heads, and I can’t stand to see my parents so stressed all the time. My mom is even having blood pressure problems because of this.

Getting back to our house, it has many problems for us. For one, we don’t fit in it, leaving my littlest siblings to share a room (which is very detrimental to them, especially to their sleep and right to privacy), and my parents to have their bed downstairs in a musty-smelling half-way room with no door, separated by the TV by only half of a half wall. Also, our house is very, very poorly insulated, our basement leaks every time a small drizzle happens, and our appliances break constantly because our landlord only fixes them half-assed every time, and never has an expert or professional come look at it. Adding to this is the fact that our house is home to an unknown number of mice, insects, stupid stupid spiders, and many other unwanted things… including mold. My mom believes this is adding to my family’s health issues, including asthma and allergies, which we all have, some of use very severely (we regularly need to use our nebulizer for asthma, for example). Though we’ve been looking for opportunities to move for years, we’ve had no luck.

Until now.

We’ve been offered an affordable housing option that will suit almost all of our family needs, which is located in a great neighborhood for my siblings to grow up. The only problem is, we may not be able to make it happen. We currently don’t have enough money to even begin paying for closing costs. With Christmas being less than 30 days away, and the timeline for this being we would move in around January or February, we are in desperate need of a miracle. I’m asking you to please help.

Please share this link everywhere and anywhere you possibly can, and encourage your friends to do the same. It leads to a fundraising page to help with the costs of this amazing opportunity. Please consider donating if you are able to do so, as every bit counts. I can’t imagine coming this close and losing it all.

Thank you so much for your time! Bye!

-Sam

My Goals And Dreams

Hey. As you may be able to tell, this is going to be another long, deep post, like Why I Believe and The Deeper Meaning Of Me. First, I will start by stating my definitions of the words “goal” and “dream.” A goal, to me, is something that you are trying to get done, mostly independently. Something that you are motivated to complete. A dream has several similar definitions (similar to each other, not necessarily to those of the word “goal”) to me, depending on the situation. It can be something that you want to happen, but you don’t think it to be possible, or you don’t think it’s possible without totally relying on someone else’s connections and ability. It can be something that you want to happen that you believe is in no way possible. It can be a figment of your imagination, made to entertain you as you sleep, or a way for authors to come up with new story ideas (not me, normally- I usually just come up with them from ordinary miracles [did I get that song from Charlotte’s Web stuck in your head yet? 🙂 ]). Now that you have those definitions in your head, let’s go explore my goals and dreams!

Dreams

We’ll start with my dreams, for two reasons. One, I want to start with the ones that I don’t think will really come true first. And two, I already have the first picture picked out 🙂 And since I said that, you can probably guess what my first dream involves, right?

If you guessed it had something to do with Grey’s Anatomy, you would be correct! My biggest dream right now is to meet the cast of Grey’s Anatomy. In case you are new to this blog, then let me enlighten you: Grey’s Anatomy is literally of much of my life as it can get. I obsess over it. My start screen of my new laptop is the words “Grey’s Anatomy” with Seattle as a background (I got it off Google). Ask my mom, my brother, my dad, my best friend. After quickly looking around to make sure I’m not around to hear you speak of it (or else I would start talking about it and annoy them yet again with my constant babbling), they would tell you that I am in love with that show. It would be amazing to meet the cast, the people who make Grey’s Anatomy so awesome (along with Shonda Rhimes and the rest of the tech crew, of course). I can see it now, meeting Patrick Dempsey and Ellen Pompeo and Chandra Wilson and Jessica Capshaw and Justin Chambers and- well, I assume you get the point. As you can see, I love love LOVE Grey’s Anatomy!

This picture is my Gmail background 🙂

Another one of my dreams is to have a big family when I grow up. I want to have three biological kids, and then adopt three more to balance out the genders (four boys and four girls total in the family counting my and my future husband). Everybody laughs and tells me I’d better be rich. Well, I plan on doing okay, but doesn’t everybody? The real challenge is going to be finding a husband who will share in my dream….

The last one of my dreams (that I’m going to share) may seem silly, or at least childish, to some of you, but I don’t care. It’s still a dream of mine. The dream I’m talking about is to go to my special place. I will not explain what my special place is, but rather how it helps me. I go there when I can’t sleep, and it helps me sleep. It also calms me down when I’m angry or anxious. It’s really amazing what my special place can do. You should all have a special place- they’re really useful!

This isn’t what my special place looks like, but is what I imagine to be a stereotypical calm, relaxing place.

Goals

-Chuck Palahniuk

Now on to goals. If you are a regular to Sammi Talk, you will probably be able to guess my biggest goal. Hell, I put it as a New Years Resolution. Got it yet? If yes, then good! If no, then too bad. Because I’m about to type it…! ~smiles evilly~

My biggest goal right now is to be a published author before I’m 18. I’m motivated to do it. I can (mostly) do it by myself. At least the writing and editing the manuscript part. I love writing- I write parts of stories every single day. I’d love to make a living from writing. And I know I can. It’s just a matter of doing it before I’m 18 that I really want to do 🙂

My second goal is to become a better Catholic. Although I am very religious, I’m sad to say that I’m not very good at practicing my religion, at least in the formal aspect of it, like going to church and stuff like that. I have a large amount of faith; it’s just a matter of practicing it consistently and correctly. And I know I can do it, it’s the actual doing that gets me.

The goal that I will end with is to be a better person, which can go many, many ways. I mean to basically be kinder, more respectful. I’m a pretty short-tempered person- I could afford to be kinder and more understanding. And plus, a little respect can go a loooooong way.

Alright, I’m all done for tonight. I have to go work on my awesome English persuasive speech. I hope you had fun exploring more into my life! Bye!

-Sam

P.S. The image URLs can be found by clicking on the pictures. I don’t own the images, nor do I pretend to own them. I found them on Google, then copied and pasted.