The Deeper Meaning Of Me

Hey. So, the title is pretty self explanatory. Today we’ll be discussing who I am. And I don’t mean the boring stuff, like, ‘oh, I’m a 15 year old girl who’s a sophomore at BCHS.’ No, like the title states, I mean the deep stuff. So, without further ado, let’s explore who I am!

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This was when I went with Gabby and her family to release lanterns in memory of Carl, one of her family members who died in a car accident.

First, you have to know that I’m ADHD. That kind of shapes my whole life, and not always in a bad way. Sure, it makes my wicked (see my New England heritage 🙂 ) disorganized, but that’s okay, because I can deal with that (most of the time!). It also makes me way more creative. Let me explain. There have been many studies done on ADHD, and a lot of them have found that people with ADHD are more creative than people without it. Also, a funny story. One of the first art classes I had this year, I received a handout with the typical traits of a creative person. Almost all of these traits were typical of someone with ADHD. I almost laughed out loud when I made the connection.

Alrighty then, next up, I’m a good friend. I’m loyal, caring, and if you’re my best friend and you want me to kick someone’s ass, I’ll do it 🙂 Well, as long as that person isn’t my best friend or my family member. And I won’t hurt them badly (I don’t believe in putting people in the hospital), I’ll just give them a few bruises and scare the crap out of them, so they never hurt you again. I’m loyal because I’ll always take your side if I’m involved in something, or else I just won’t get involved. And I’m caring because, well, I care. You can tell me anything, and I’ll help you through whatever it is, plus I won’t judge.

Now, I’m intelligent. I’m just using what other people say about me for this one, plus events that have happened. I got the highest score on the placement exam for BCHS. Everyone says I’m super smart, and I need to actually try in school instead of just coasting along (I HATE it when they say that, but it’s true, I do need to try harder). And when I do try hard, I get awesome, amazing results, like a 98 on a Dos quarter project! Now that’s what I call awesomeness!

I’m dirty minded. I’m not going to go into that one at all, really, because that would probably disgust you 🙂 Let’s put it this way. I once got into a conversation on Facebook with my friend Derek about a picture that had been posted. It said something like, ‘if people heard my best friend and I talking, we would be in a mental hospital.’ I asked Derek what would happen to me and Rebecca if people heard us talking. Up until this point, we had been chatting in the comments. Now, he messaged me. You wanna know what he wrote?

Worse, burned at the stake. –Derek H.

I’m really spiritual. I pray A LOT. I pray every night before I go to bed, even if it’s my own prayers, not prayers that you can find in a prayer book or something. As one of my last posts said, I’m a Roman Catholic, and I have a lot of faith. Even if those reasons that I stated in that post were all proved false, I would still believe because of my faith. It’s pretty strong.

I have anger issues sometimes, but the major ones usually only show when the Lyme comes back. I normally always have some minor irritability, and even when the Lyme is gone, once in a blue moon I’ll lose is, but doesn’t everyone?

If you tease me for my anger issues, or is I see you tease anyone for anything, I’ll kick your ass so hard you won’t be able to sit for a week, because I absolutely HATE any kind of snobbery or anything like it. No. Just, don’t do it. It sucks. As I’ve told you, I’ve been a victim of bullying, and I’ve watched my best friend be subjected to the tortures it causes, and it seriously sucks to experience. Don’t do it. Please.

One more thing: first impressions are EVERYTHING to me. I don’t know why, but once I meet you, I either hate you or love you. There is rarely an in between. I don’t know why this is, but my mom calls it obsessive, like I obsess over the people that I love. I don’t know what to think.

Alright, I think that’s it. Wow, this was a really long post again. Hopefully I’ll get into this habit of long posts. I kinda like it. Okay, I’m done for now. Bye!

-Sam

P.S. The original picture URLs can be found by clicking on the pictures!

Why I Believe

Hey! Well, this one is for Gabby. First, I will clarify that I am referring to religion. Now, let me start by explaining how this post came to be. I was scrolling through the Freshly Pressed posts, and a tag (and then its title) struck my eye. The tag was suicide. The title was An Open Letter to the Lost (I haven’t read it yet, because then all the ideas for this post started coming to me, and I wanted to get them all down before I forgot about them, but I do plan on reading it). I then got the idea to write a somewhat inspirational post of my own (as I’m sure that that post was inspirational). I thought for a second on what to write, and then it came to me. I could explain why I believed what I did. I got this idea because of Gabby. I won’t say anything else about her and her religion except this: whenever she sleeps over, when we’re falling asleep, we have the most epic conversations about religion, and in the last one we had she asked me why I believed what I did. I answered her, and now I will answer you. So, here it is. Why I’m a Roman Catholic.

I’ll start with stating the obvious, which is that my parents raised me to share their beliefs. Although this is a part of it, over the past few years, I have grown in my faith and have become what I believe to be religiously independent from my parents. While we mostly still have the same beliefs (some very minute details might differ a bit), nothing is holding me to believe the same thing as my parents. I just choose to believe what I do, and that just so happens to be the same thing that my parents do.

Now, on to the more in-depth reasons. First, I’ll start with why I believe in God. I’ll begin with the simple fact that I’ve thought of the option of not believing in Him, and, to be honest with you, it just doesn’t make sense to me. Not that I don’t respect atheism, because I have nothing against atheists. One of my best friends calls herself an atheist. It’s just, how can you believe that the universe wasn’t created by some higher power? That it was just there? Plus, how can you believe that there’s nothing after death? The simple thought of nothing after dying scared the hell out of me when I was little (yes, I had a mid-life crisis at age 8). So, yeah, I just can’t grasp the concept of no God.

Another reason why I believe in God is because of my answered prayers. Many times, right after I’ve prayed, they are answered. Other times, it takes a little longer, but the prayer is still answered. Sure, there are prayers that still haven’t been answered, and that can’t be answered anymore (for example, ‘please let my grandma live’), but, for the most part (not the ‘please let my grandma live’ one), the result of those unanswered prayers has been greater than the result that I was hoping for when I prayed. God works in wonderful ways. You just have to stop and pay attention for once, instead of complaining because of that one unanswered prayer that turned out better than ever.

The next reason why I believe in God is because of miracles. And for all you people going ‘miracles don’t exist,’ then I believe because of ‘events that can’t be scientifically proved.’ Seriously, people, how else would these things happen? If the smartest people in the world can’t come up with an explanation, then what else can it be besides God?

The last reason (that I’m going to share) is because of a book. Yes, a book, but not just any book. This book is about a four-year-old boy, Colton. In case you haven’t guessed, the book is Heaven Is For Real. It’s narrated by Colton’s dad, although it uses a lot of the same phrases Colton did. It tells the story of Colton’s journey to Heaven and back. It’s a very powerful, moving book. You should definitely read it sometime!

Now, on to why I believe in Jesus. Again, the first reason I’m going to use is the fact that it’s how my parents raised me. Like I said before, although they raised me to believe in Jesus, over the past few years, because of many things, I have formed my own religious beliefs and have become independent from my parents, at least religiously speaking. My beliefs may coincide with my parents’, but they are my own.

The first in-depth reason that I’m going to use is His Resurrection. First, there were so many people who saw the risen Lord, like Mary Magdalene, doubting Thomas,  the two disciples on the road to Emmaus, and the Apostles when they locked themselves in the room. There’s also the empty tomb, which is where Jesus’ burial clothes were found with Jesus’ image… um… etched into them, for lack of a better term.

The last reason I’m going to use, for believing in Jesus and believing in God, is faith. I simply have faith in them. I can’t really elaborate on that except by saying if you’re Catholic you’ll understand. I just believe, and I hope you do, too.

Wow, this was a really, really long post. Well, I hope that anyone who didn’t respect my beliefs before, does respect them now. Seriously, though, this took me a couple hours (not straight- I was working on this on and off throughout the day). Alright, I’m done with blogging for tonight. Time to go work on my essay 😦 Bye!

-Sam

P.S. The original URL for the pictures can be found by clicking on the pictures.