And Another Year Passes….

Hey. I’m sorry for not posting in pretty much over a year. Yeah, there’s been a post thrown in here or there, but not like I used to. I know I’ve said this before, but this time I’m really going to try to change that. My absence from this blog… well, I think posting is actually a helpful outlet for all the crap going on in my life.

In less than twelve hours from now, my grandfather will have been dead for a year. I still haven’t cried except for, like, literally less than two minutes right after I walked into his wake and saw his body lying in the casket. When my grandma died, she had already been cremated for her wake— all I saw was the urn. This, clearly, was different.

Mammy & Papa Cropped

I’m a crier. Not purposely, because I can’t control it— it’s just who I am. I cry when I’m upset. I cry when I’m sad. When I’m frustrated. Pissed off. Sometimes that irritates the hell out of me, because when I’m so pissed that I can literally feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins I really don’t want to cry because I want to keep my shit together in order to be taken seriously. That being said, you would think that I would’ve been able to cry about my grandpa, right? I mean, I cried for my grandma. But nope. Of course not.

You know, it kinda makes me wonder if I’m a horrible person, because how can a crier not cry over the death of someone they absolutely adored?! And yeah, I’ve heard all of the crap about how everyone grieves differently and how not everyone cries and blah blah blah, and I get it. I really do. But I’m still me. Granted, I’m now a sixteen- and seventeen-year-old me as opposed to an eleven- and twelve-year-old me, but still.

I’m a crier, and I haven’t cried for my dead grandpa. And he’s been dead for a year as of less than twelve hours from now.

But I think I want to be done discussing my slightly-worrisome lack of tears, so. Yeah.

In December, I binge-watched all ten-and-a-half seasons of Bones. Damn. That show is freaking AMAZING! But ugh, seriously! I CANNOT believe it took Booth and Brennan six freaking seasons to finally stop being stupid and realize they’re in love! SIX. FREAKING. SEASONS! Although, I did get a somewhat-popular post on Tumblr out of it:

Waiting For Booth And Brennan To Realize They're In Love

And yes, I know, 27 notes is kind of nothing, but for me, that’s the most attention any of my social media posts have ever gotten from complete strangers, which for some reason feels like an accomplishment.

I’ve just started watching Scandal on Netflix, too. I’m currently a little over halfway through the first episode of Season 4. God, Shonda Rhimes is a freaking genius! Seriously, I’m hooked! Jeez, she’s just so freaking amazing. Which kinda, you know, sucks, with her being an evil genius who lives to crush the hopes and dreams of all her viewers and all. Yeah… I’m a lost cause. There’s no going back! 🙂

Well, that’s it for now. I’m going to get back to watching Scandal. Plus, I’m trying to hang out with my friend S.B. tonight, so I’m going to go for now. Bye!

-Sam

Damn, Where The Hell Did 2015 Go?

Hey everyone. Yep, I’m still alive. I know I said I would try and start posting again, and I really have been meaning to. However, I’ve been struggling over the past few months. I don’t really know how to describe it other than by saying I still haven’t recovered from my latest relapse of Lyme symptoms. For the second time, when they recurred, my cognitive function was really hit hard. I stumble over my words; I know exactly what I want to say, but there’s a disconnect somewhere when I’m trying to actually communicate whatever it is that I’m trying to convey. To put it bluntly, it fucking sucks, especially when the one thing I have always prided myself on over the course of my entire life is my unique advanced mental capabilities.

But whatever. I’ve been dwelling on it so much lately that I don’t really want to get into it right now. Anyways, let me just say this:

Holy shit.

It’s already Christmas Eve?! How the hell did that happen? I’m not used to time flying by. I’ve only had five years of practice, and in those five years so many things have changed so drastically, it would be hard for me to keep up with even without factoring in time starting to seem to fly. Ever since my grandma died in June of 2010, at the end of my 6th grade year, time has flown by. I remember thinking to myself on the morning of 7th grade field day, in June of 2011, “Wait, it’s almost summer already? Didn’t school, like, just start again??”

2015 has been a pretty crappy year in itself, too. Well, maybe not majorly crappy so much as insanely stressful and marked by a horrible, monumentally life-altering event: my grandpa died in March.

My grandpa, my Papa, my mom’s dad… is dead.

Mammy & Papa

My mom’s parents. My Mammy and Papa. ❤

Both of my mom’s parents are now dead. Both died within the past five years. Both were my nice grandparents. My dad’s parents… well, I’ve had troubles with them in the past, and I’ll just leave it at that for now. Don’t get me wrong – I love them more than words can say and wouldn’t hesitate to take a bullet for either of them – but, basically, both of my nice grandparents are dead.

I can’t believe it’s Christmas Eve right now. What the fuck happened? It seems like it was Christmas just a couple months ago! This is freaking insane! I’m not used to this. I hate time flying. Especially because now it just makes Mammy and Papa move farther and farther away quicker and quicker.

Ugh… I haven’t slept all night, and I haven’t been sleeping good at all… well, for pretty much my entire life, but especially these last few weeks. Really, ever since my grandpa died, I guess, but these past couple of weeks have been really bad. I’m going to go try and sleep again. Merry Christmas! I hope you all have a safe and happy Christmas or holiday or just a vacation, whatever this is for you. Bye!

-Sam

What I Got For Christmas

Hey. Okay, first, I should tell you, if you don’t like listening to other people’s gifts that they received, then stop reading, because I am going to go through literally everything that I got. I have my present pile (like that alliteration? 🙂 ) right next to me, ready to go through it and tell you everything I got. Well, here we go.

Christmas Eve Presents

I got presents from my aunt, my grandpa, and my great aunt and uncle on Christmas Eve. I got a beautiful bracelet from my grandpa. Maybe I’ll post a picture of it later. From my aunt, I received a Christmas ornament, as well as some make-up stuff, hair stuff, and nail stuff. From my great aunt and uncle, I received $20, plus a bunch of candy! Christmas Eve was fun.

Christmas Day Presents

Get comfy, because this is a long list. Okay, I’ll start with the stuff from my parents and Santa. I got a lot of shirts, which I was in desperate need of. I of course got a stocking full of candy and deodorant and blistex and a sock monkey and an iTunes gift card, along with other stuff. Oh, and Uncle put $50 in a card in my stocking. Now, back to the presents that were waiting under the tree. I got Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 for the PS3, another sock monkey, sock monkey slippers, Taken 2, Taylor Swift’s debut album, Pokemon X, Salt, a Webkinz (don’t know why, but I’m not complaining- I get a part of my childhood back!), as well as Sim City for the computer. I also got a blanket, a snowboard, an ornament, a calender, lotion, a snuggie, Zelda: A Link Between Worlds for the 3DS, gloves, a scarf, a hat, and a coffee cup with a $10 Dunkin Donuts gift card in it. I believe that’s the majority of it. Oh yeah, and my laptop that I’m using right now! Later, I received a $100 bill from my grandparents.

Yeah, it was a pretty awesome Christmas. How was yours? And I’m still keeping the posting streak! This is the 10th day, I believe? Alright, that’s it for now. Bye!

-Sam

Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, And Grey’s Anatomy

Hey. Happy Thanksgiving! And for those who are Jewish , happy Hanukkah! I hope you all enjoyed the first day of Hanukkah yesterday, because that alignment with Thanksgiving only happens once every 78,000 years! Wow, I know, right! My Thanksgiving was okay, I guess. We watched the parade, then it started out on a shaky note when we got to my grandpa’s house, but it ended up pretty good. The dinner was awesome, of course, as always, and so was the pie and ice cream 🙂 Both of my brothers, ages 5 and 13, ended up having to do the nebulizer due to an asthma attack, on a different note. Then, we went to my other grandparents’ house at around 5 or 6. We stayed for a couple hours, then went home. I was totally dejected to find out that there was no Grey’s Anatomy on that night 😥 But then I found a sale on Spore on Steam, and bought it for half off. And if you want to take advantage of that sale, hurry- it ends December 3rd. So I spent the rest of the night playing Spore. Well, that’s it for now. How was your day yesterday? Bye!

-Sam