In Less Than One Month I Will No Longer Be A Child

Hey. As some of you may know, in less than a month, on September 11, I will turn eighteen and will officially be an adult. Yikes.

I don’t feel like an adult. And I certainly don’t feel anywhere near ready to not be a child any more! It’s crazy. I don’t even feel seventeen! How am I supposed to feel like an adult when I already feel younger than I really am?!

I don’t want to grow up. Seriously, I have enough problems dealing with the responsibility of being an almost-adult as it is. Besides, I still don’t even schedule my own doctor’s appointments!

How can I be less than a month away from being an adult?

I don’t drive yet. I don’t even have my permit! I’ve had enough problems dealing with the process of enrolling in college. How am I supposed to navigate adulthood?

We're Adults Quote

Seriously, Grey’s Anatomy has the best quotes for anything!  click for original picture 

I keep trying to tell myself that I’m just worrying over nothing, that it’ll all be okay, but I can’t bring myself to believe it. Is this how everyone feels? Let me know your thoughts.

Okay, I was planning on a much longer post, but I have to go babysit in a couple minutes, so I have to go. Bye!

-Sam

 

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Nomination!

Thank you SO MUCH to snarmadhaa for this nomination! My first nomination!!

RULES

  • Thank the person who nominated you for the award – done
  • Display the One Lovely Blog Award on your blog – yup
  • Share 7 things about yourself -sure
  • Nominate 15 bloggers you admire and let them know by commenting on their blog -that’s a lot….

So, seven things about myself:

  1. I’m addicted to Grey’s Anatomy. I LOVE it!
  2. I’m a huge advocate for more childhood cancer research and funding. Did you know that, in the US, all the childhood cancers combined receive only about 3% of the total amount of money going toward cancer research?
  3. My friend has Ewing’s Sarcoma. He’s barely eleven.
  4. I’m most likely going to be homeschooled for the last two years of high school. I’ll miss BCHS and my friends SO MUCH!
  5. I’m going to a One Direction concert on August 8th! Happy early 16th birthday to me and Gabby!
  6. I’m a strong believer in God. Nothing else to it.
  7. Every summer, I watch every episode of Grey’s Anatomy there ever was on Netflix. No better way to spend your summers!

My nominations:

  1. Teens Can Write, Too!
  2. The Little Engine that Couldn’t
  3. Lostaccount’s Blog

The rest of my nominees are on Blogger, and I don’t know if that works…? I’ll get back to you on that.

Bye!

-Sam

Meet The Genius Who’s Failing History (A.K.A. Me)

Hey! I just realized something now, something that I don’t think has ever really hit me before- I want to be successful. So badly. But right now, when I say that I’ll be successful… well, it’s not gonna happen if I don’t make some major life improvements. And fast. I have so many goals for the future (some of them realistic and down-to-earth, and some of them a little out-of-the-ordinary), but many of them depend on my achievements of now and of the next few years, like if I attend a good college. I want to be comfortable with money. I don’t want to have to worry about sending my future (six?) kids to private schools because the public school sucks (it might not, but I want to stay living in my town when I grow up, so unless there are some major changes, then that’s going to be a reality). I want to be able to donate a shit-ton of money to childhood cancer research, because those kids are worth more than 3%. I want to be someone big.

Have I ever mentioned before that my favorite car ever is a yellow Porsche 911 Turbo? And no, it’s not because of Alice Cullen. Not at all. I loved this car before New Moon was even published (I think that’s the one where Alice and Bella steal the car to save Edward?). To be honest, my love for this car is because of a video game, Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit 2 (PS2 version). Which, by the way, was released on October 1, 2002. Yes, I know, I was only four then, but we got it a couple years later when my Uncle gave my brother and I our very own PS2 (yes, I was a video game addict at probably the age of 7). Now, back to the point. As you should know, it’s a lot of money. But if I’m successful, I can eventually buy one. Except, if I keep going at this rate, I’m not even going to go to college.

This is the best car ever. Seriously.

Did you know that I’m a genius? No, seriously- my IQ (I forget the exact number, I’ll ask my mom later and then give you an update) is above the number that is considered to be genius (I’ll ask my mom on what that number is and get back to you on that one, too). Also, like I said in a previous post, I scored in the top 1% in the country when I took the placement exam for my high school. I’m a literal genius, and I’m failing history. I got a 17 on a quiz. A freaking 17. I got straight A’s in elementary and middle school, and now I’m doing horrible in high school. Why? How? I know that really, really smart people (like me, apparently) tend to do really, really bad in school, but my question is this: if I’m called an enigma in literally everything else, then why must I be normal in this case? To be blunt, it seriously blows.

I don’t understand why I’m having so much trouble in school. I mean, it’s not like I hate it. Quite the contrary, actually- I love my school, and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I actually cry when I think about leaving BCHS. Especially because I’d be leaving Mr. Rose and Ms. Picone. Now that would suck, leaving them. I just, I don’t know what’s going on. Why can’t I do it? Like I said, I’m a freaking genius! I should be able to do this easily. Why can’t I? Why?

My parents say I might not go back to BCHS next year if there isn’t some drastic improvement in both my grades and my behavior (that’s for another post, in which my confusion will most likely be very clear). That scares me. So much. For one, because that would mean going back to my town’s school, where the kids are just plain cruel, horrible excuses for human beings. But mostly because that would mean leaving so much behind. I would be leaving my friends (the only non-BCHS friend I have is Gabby), Mr. Rose, Ms. Picone, the general niceness of BCHS, the helpfulness… everything. That right there terrifies me. I can’t leave this. I can’t.

I’m in so much trouble, for everything that’s happened (and some things that haven’t), it’s not even funny. I’m pretty much under house arrest without being a literal criminal. I’m not allowed to do anything, even watch Grey’s Anatomy D: Which really, really sucks, because now I’m two episodes behind. Besides that, my parents have a meeting with my school on Monday at 3:00, and they’re making me go (so, pray, think, whatever you do, for me at 3:00 pm EST on Monday! I’ll need it! 😦 ), so that should be torture. I want to cry just thinking about it. But besides that, because I’m in trouble, my stupid oldest brother (he’s 13) has been trying to feed in to my parent’s anger to try and get me in trouble. Here’s an example: two nights ago, he had to switch over the laundry. He was mad at me for some reason, and he closed the basement door when he went downstairs. Well, I went to tell my mom something (luckily) and all of a sudden we hear a bang and a “HEY!” This repeats a few times until my mom says “knock it off! She’s up here!” My brother goes “Oh” and the basement door squeaks open. He barely got in trouble for it, though. And he denied it, saying the door was jammed. But do you see what I mean?!

My life is filled with “if’s” and question marks. Because right now, that’s what my future is. One big question mark. I could be a huge success. But, the way I’m going, I could be a giant failure. I really don’t know. I wish I could say, “I’m going to be a success!” But I honestly don’t know right now. And that’s sad.

Which way will I go?

Seriously, though, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m about to fail history for the year, and my life is falling apart. I really, really hope it gets better, but one question lingers in the back of my mind: what if it doesn’t? Well, I don’t know, Sam. I just don’t know.

-Sam

P.S. As always, the original image URLs can be found by clicking the images.

The Worst Part About Being Grounded Is Not Being Able To Watch Grey’s Anatomy

Hey. Well, I’m really sad. I know, I know, enough about Grey’s Anatomy, but I love it so much, and it’s a huge part of my life, so that’s why I write about it a lot. Anyways, in case you didn’t know, it was on last night, because it was Thursday yesterday. I was in bed, trying (unsuccessfully) to sleep (I sleep less when I’m sick, unlike everyone else in the world), and all of a sudden I hear Meredith Grey’s voice, talking like she does in the beginning of every Grey’s Anatomy episode. I groan, because really, Mom? You just had to torture me like that, didn’t you? I didn’t want to listen, for two reasons. One, I wasn’t allowed to watch the last episode, because I was grounded, so I was an episode behind. And two, I didn’t want to listen and then watch it later, because that isn’t as entertaining (even though it’s still enjoyable). So, I tried (also unsuccessfully) to block out the sound for an hour by putting my pillow and blankets over my head to block out the sound (which is really hard to do if you still want to be able to breathe). I eventually resorted to saying “la la la la la la la” for forty five minutes. Yeah, it wasn’t fun. But it was better than hearing spoilers, seeing as I haven’t watched the last episode yet. Anyways, I have to go do some homework. Bye!

-Sam

Making Covers For Books Is So Much Fun!

Hey! Guess what? I made someone on Wattpad a cover for their book, and they choose it over other people’s covers to use as their one and only cover to display!! Yay! But, so far, that’s only happened twice, although only two people have turned me down (since all the other 10 are still deciding). For example, here’re some of the covers that I’ve made:

This one is one of my favorites!

This is the one that someone else is using! 😀

Alright, I gotta go clean my room if I want to watch this weeks Grey’s Anatomy. Which I do, of course. And my mom wants my room clean by tomorrow anyways, so blech. Wish me luck! Bye!

-Sam

Last Night’s Grey’s Anatomy And Today’s Sophomore Retreat

Hey. I’m going to start off with a simple statement of disbelief- April chose Jackson! YESSS!! And… they got MARRIED!!! I’m kinda of in disbelief because I was right, not because she chose him. But, seriously, last night’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy was a huge shocker, in many ways. It made me cry, laugh, scream, yell, shout, and other things (I’m not exaggerating- I seriously yelled and screamed and shouted at the TV 🙂 ). It was AMAZING!! Callie and Arizona are actually working things out majorly (YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!), and Meredith and Christina seem to finally be starting to patch up their relationship, which is good. But, anyways, I don’t want to ruin the rest of the details for people who haven’t watched it yet, so I’ll force myself to stop and talk about today instead. Today was actually fun. We had a sophomore retreat, and even though we just stayed in the gym mostly, secluded from the freshmen, juniors, and seniors, it was still pretty awesome. One of my favorite teachers of all time shared something very personal that made me literally sob, but that’s okay, because… well, I can’t tell you, because that might give away some private details, and only he can tell people that. I just have to say this: Mr. ____ (you know who you are, even though you’ll probably never read this), I know I already told you this, but you’re really brave for going up there, in front of everyone, and spilling all of that. And I know I wrote this in the letter I gave to you, but regardless of how you got here, I’m really glad that you’re my teacher.

Alright, that’s it for this post. Sorry I couldn’t tell you more, but I can’t tell anybody. Bye!

-Sam