My Brilliant Idea

Hey. Today during my session with my therapist/counsellor/whatever-you-call-it, I had this amazing idea to help motivate me to do stuff: a “Fuck You” Board. Let me explain. The conversation started off with her (my therapist) talking about something she calls the Law of Attraction. Basically, the way she explained it, the more positive energy you put into something, the more likely it is to happen, and vice versa. I disagree, because, as I pointed out, I know some parents of kids with cancer never even imagined that their child wouldn’t beat that cancer, and yet their child died anyway. She said that wasn’t what she meant, and that she was talking about things we have control over, but I wasn’t really getting it.

I pointed out how I finished high school and got my diploma instead of going for my GED/HiSET (which is what it’s now called) out of spite for all of the school administration who believed I would never succeed, because that was the biggest way I could think of to tell them “FUCK YOU” without saying it straight out, because apparently that’s a big no-no, socially-speaking, at least according to my mom. My therapist said that even though it originated out of spite, it was actually positive energy because I was telling myself, “I’m going to do this.” I kinda saw where she was coming from with that. She went on to say that if that’s what works for me, then that’s okay. That’s when it hit me:

I should make a “Fuck You” Board and hang it on my closet door.

I said this, and after she got control of her laughter, she asked what that meant. I said I was going to take a blank poster board, draw a middle finger in the middle surrounded by the words “FUCK YOU”, and write the names of all the people who have ever doubted me or didn’t believe in me. That way, if I ever needed motivation, I could just look at that board and see all the people who I want to continue proving wrong.

I have to say, I’m wicked excited about this. 🙂

I can’t wait to get started! I’ve already started planning out the design in a notebook, and have written down quite a few names already. I’m also going to make sure to write small enough so that I have space to add to it when other people come along. My dad said I should put him and my mom on it, only half joking, but I explained that it’s not about people who piss me off, but people who don’t believe in me or don’t believe I can/will succeed, who I have to prove wrong. I know my parents are the top two people in existence who most believe in me (even if I may say/think otherwise when I’m pissed at them).

I’ll post a picture of my “Fuck You” Board when I’m done. Maybe I’ll block the names out. Maybe not. I don’t know. But I promise you, it’s gonna be awesome.

That’s it for now. I hope you all had a nice New Years. Bye!

-Sam

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I NEED To Get My Room Clean!

Hey! Well, I really, really need to get my room spotless before 9:00 pm five days from now. Do you know why? Because Grey’s Anatomy is on in five days, of course! Plus, I’m not allowed to watch it until my room is clean 😦 As much as I hate this possible punishment (pfft it’s not gonna be a punishment- I have so much motivation to get my room clean because of this, it’s not even funny!), you have to give it to my mom- she finally figured out how to adequately make me care about punishments! And I’m not being snarky, either. I can honestly say that normally I don’t care about being punished, sadly. I wish it weren’t true, because then the thought of a punishment would scare me into doing whatever it is I’m supposed to do. But I don’t, so she’s trying to get creative. Not being able to watch Grey’s Anatomy? Yeah, she did a good job, because there is NO WAY that I’m going to let that happen! Alright, I’ve spent five minutes working on this post. That’s enough time away from my room. I’ve gotta go clean it so I can watch Grey’s Anatomy on Thursday! Bye!

-Sam