A Rant Of Sorts

Hey. So, the other day I shared a video on Facebook (can’t find the link now, sorry). The video itself was about how you shouldn’t just assume someone wants to be called a “he” or a “she” and to call someone “them” instead until you discover their preference. I commented how I get that some people don’t identify as a male or female and just want to be known as, like, a person or a banana or something, and that if they want to designate a gender-neutral word, they can feel free, but they shouldn’t butcher the English language to do it, because “they” is a plural word, not a singular one.

Someone commented back — very snootily (is that a word?), I might add — about how:

  1. it’s obvious that I have no respect for people who struggle with gender identify because I dared to use the word banana,
  2. “they” actually isn’t a plural word, and besides, we create the English language so therefore that makes it the right usage,
  3. and basically how I’m an intolerant little shit who steals candy from babies and kills puppies and shit.
What The Hell GIF

original image found here

First of all, let me say this: I get that some people don’t think of themselves as male or female. Just because I used a banana in my example doesn’t mean I’m a fucking moron. I used it to illustrate a point, which is how absurd it is that people are trying to identify as something other than a person (by that, I mean that they’re trying to come up with concepts like “non-binary” and shit instead of just saying they identify as a human being, which would be the simplest way).

I have autism. Yes, it may not seem like it because I’m what is considered “high-functioning”, but that doesn’t mean I’m normal. I’m not. Social cues don’t register in my brain. If there was a test on reading body language, I would probably score a 10, because odds are that I would at least get a couple questions right by chance. Sometimes I say things that people take to be insulting when I meant no harm by it, and sometimes I take things that others say as insults even though they aren’t. I just don’t know. Something is programmed wrong in my brain. I can’t control it. That doesn’t mean I’m a dumbass (I actually have a genius IQ, and people with autism tend to be smarter overall than those who don’t have autism).

Now on to the second point. “They” is a plural fucking word. It is used to describe two or more people, among other things. The official definition of the word in the Oxford English Dictionary is as follows:

[third person plural] Used to refer to two or more people or things previously mentioned or easily identified. ‘the two men could get life sentences if they are convicted’

And:

[singular third person plural] Used to refer to a person of unspecified gender. ‘ask a friend if they could help’

The Dictionary.com definition is:

nominative plural of he, she, and it

And:

(used with a singular indefinite pronoun or singular noun antecedent in place of the definite masculine he or the definite feminine she): Whoever is of voting age, whether they are interested in politics or not, should vote.

And by the way, the second definitions from both sources doesn’t mean that you can substitute the word “they” with “he” or “she” at will; it means that if you’re discussing a non-specified person, or a generalized person (in this case, a friend and a voter, respectively), then it is acceptable to use the word “they” to describe that person.

As for the third point, I don’t fucking care what you think of me.

Bazinga I Don't Care GIF

original image found here

You don’t fucking matter. I can count on two hands the people / groups of people whose opinions matter to me, and you sure as hell aren’t even close to being one of them. However, because I am using this post to negate your entire argument, I will say that I don’t fucking care what the hell you choose to identify as. It’s not my problem. It’s not for me to judge, unless you actually want to identify as a banana, in which case shut the fuck up (with the exceptions being actual bananas; they can identify as bananas). Just because I made a joke about it doesn’t mean I disrespect the people who actually struggle with gender identity and all that crap. It just means I made a fucking joke. People joke about things they shouldn’t all the time. I couldn’t even tell you the number of autism-related jokes I’ve heard. There are four I can find videos of and one more that I can think of (The Aspy’s) off the top of my head in Family Guy alone (by the way, I laughed my ass off while watching them). And don’t you dare fucking tell me that autism can’t compare to gender identity as a problem, because while it might not be on the same page on the types of issues that arise, you’re an ignorant, naive SOB if you think living with autism isn’t a challenge every second of every day.

So yeah, I don’t think it’s acceptable to use “they” to describe a single, specific person. If you really want to eliminate gender roles, come up with a gender-neutral word, like we have “he” for a male and “she” for a female (traditionally). [EDIT (I meant to include this initially): Maybe the problem isn’t that people don’t identify as a “he” or a “she”; maybe the problem is that we all have pre-conceived notions about what it means to be a “he” or a “she”.] Also, because I know this will come up: this is not meant as an “attack” against the person who disrespectfully “disagreed” with my point of view, this is meant as a response to said person (and there’s another way to avoid using “him”, “her”, or “them”; who knew?!).

I think that’s about it. This was a really long post, and I know I didn’t try as hard to speak in a professional tone, as I do with politics, because I was just so pissed off, and for that, I do apologize. However, this needed to be said, and while I’m sure there are many nicer ways to say it, I think this best represents my feelings. If you have any questions about how to interpret something written here, don’t just assume I’m trying to insult someone; ask me what I mean, okay? Seriously, I’m not trying to be an asshole (if I were, there would be absolutely no doubt in anyone’s mind, even in the mind of an autistic person, because when I’m being bitchy, I make it painfully obvious so my words aren’t misconstrued as sarcastic or anything).

Thank you to all who kept reading until the end.

-Sam

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For Some Reason, I Refuse To Grow Up

Hey. Today I screwed up. I was supposed to be babysitting my neighbors’ son, and I fell asleep. I’m supposed to be eighteen, and I can’t even force myself to stay awake to babysit a freaking nine-year-old. I’m actually kind of glad his dad came home for a second and saw me sleeping, because it would’ve been killing me, but I don’t know if I would’ve had the (figurative) balls to tell them. And they should know that I wasn’t watching their kid. I swear, every good thing I have going in my life, I end up fucking it up.

Every. Fucking. Thing.

Always.

Why? Because I won’t fucking grow up and take an ounce of fucking responsibility. I had a job for two weeks in November. I was late twice. Granted, one time it was their fault, because they didn’t tell me I was supposed to work at 6 in the morning, and I had called to ask if the schedule was up the day before, and it wasn’t. Plus, then they just seemed to forget I even existed after two weeks. But still.

I’m so fucking stupid. I’m worse than a fucking toddler. Toddlers at least learn from their mistakes. I keep making the same ones. Over. And. Over. And. Over.

It’s like I don’t even fucking care that I’m ruining my fucking life, and I do. Trust me. This fuck-up will eat away at me for months, at the very least. There are some things I did when I was eleven that are still torturing me.

You’d think that with the way I beat myself up over everything, I’d learn a little. Apparently not. Like, what the fuck is wrong with me?! Why can’t I ever make a good decision for once in my fucking life?! And believe me, I am responsible for all of these decisions.

I swear, whenever I start to do a little better in one part of my life, it’s like I’m like, “well, I guess I don’t have to work hard to get everything else as good as it can be.”

I was just thinking that, all of the shit I do to people, I hope someone does it to me someday, because I deserve it. But then I thought, no, I don’t. Because then I would feel like, in some way, I was redeemed by the same thing happening to me. And I don’t deserve that.

I wish I could literally beat myself up.

-Sam

You’ve Gotta Be Freaking Kidding Me….

Hey. I know I’ve been absent for just short of six months. I’m going to try to fix that. Anyway, today my parents drove up to New Hampshire to buy a camper, leaving me and my sixteen-year-old home alone (my parents brought my two littlest siblings to my grandma’s for the day). My mom didn’t leave a list of chores, like she usually does, but just told me to get my folding done and clean one small area of the house up. I folded and cleaned up the gaming area, and then decided to do some extra, because I wanted to surprise her. I scooped the cat litter, vacuumed around the bunny’s cage, and cleaned her cage. I then swept the kitchen floor.

So, my parents come home around four, four-thirty. My mom and I are talking and she says something like, “I’m glad you both got your stuff done today.” I’m like, wait a second, Roman did nothing all day. She says, “He cleaned the cat litter.”

Excuse me??

I start to get mad at this point, because, as conniving as he is, I never expected him to stoop this low. My mom says, “Oh, you both must’ve scooped it,” which, even if this were the case, that right there should tell you all you need to know about my brother’s idea of “clean”. I’m like, no, I scooped it, he didn’t. She gets mad at me and says that I’m taking away from the extra that I did today by arguing. I say, “I’m not arguing anything, I’m simply stating facts!”

And that’s pretty much how the conversation went, ending with my mom and I going in separate directions for the next few minutes. But seriously, are you fucking kidding me? Who the hell does that? At least lie about something neither of us did! Don’t try to take credit for my fucking work, asshole!

Anyway, yeah, I’m kinda freaking pissed. But whatever.

Tonight, I’m sleeping in a tent in our backyard with my two youngest siblings, AJ and Amanda. They’re asleep right now. I’m going to go watch some Netflix now, then try to get some sleep. Bye!

-Sam

Castle Is Seriously Awesome

Hey. I’m sorry I haven’t posted much in the past year. I’ve been meaning to, but life keeps getting in the way. I’ve recently been binge-watching Castle, and can I just say, oh my God, this is freaking amazing!!

Also: OH MY GOD BECKETT AND CASTLE ARE EVEN WORSE THAN BOOTH AND BONES WITH THE WHOLE IGNORING-THEIR-LOVE-FOR-EACH-OTHER THING!!!!

Seriously, it’s so bad that even the writers were poking fun at it. Castle and Beckett were talking about how annoying it is that Lanie and Esposito can’t just stop fighting and realize they love each other, and I’m over here like OH MY GOD GUYS ARE YOU THIS FREAKING BLIND SERIOUSLY!

I’ve been meaning to start watching Castle for years, but of course when I finally do, I realize that it just ended this spring. The entire series. I’m so pissed that I waited so long! Seriously, why?

Ugh, I don’t even know what to say. It’s disappointing, really. Anyways, I’m going to go continue watching it. I’ll try to post more soon, but we all know how horrible I am at posting when I say I will. I’m trying to get better, really! Bye.

-Sam

And People Wonder Why I’m Always Pissed….

Hey. I haven’t even been eighteen for two weeks and my life is already spiraling back to the same hellish state it’s been for years. Freaking Amanda, my sister (she’s ten now), just can’t help herself from making up lie after lie about me to get me in trouble, and my parents just eat it up, because God forbid Sam ever be allowed to not be the “problem child.” Screw that. Seriously, how the hell am I supposed to coexist with these assholes if they don’t even let me try and be good?!

I’d been doing much better at controlling myself in the midst of all of this bullshit for awhile, but these past few days have been harder. I don’t know why. All I know is that I can’t wait to get my shit together and get the hell out of here. I’m so fucking tired of being the family scapegoat for fucking everything! It’s always my fault, somehow. Doesn’t matter if I’m in a different room, or not even home, everything always ends up back at me. Seriously, I can’t make this shit up. Fuck this.

And, of course, anyone who observes this always assumes that my parents are automatically right and always have some prior reason to be extra pissed off at me this time. I can’t even really vent to anyone because they always blame me! I want to scream and cry and punch holes into walls and kick down doors and a bunch of other super-destructive shit like taking a baseball bat and smashing shit, but it’s not like I can do any of that, and imagining karma coming back to bite them in their asses isn’t really cutting it anymore. One of these days I’m just gonna snap, and I don’t know what’s gonna happen then. I really don’t. It scares me, it truly does.

Fuck this shit.

-Sam

P.S. I’m not gonna kill myself or my family or anything (because apparently I need to clarify this). Honestly, I think that would be a cop-out. Really not my style. I’m more of a flip-’em-the-bird, fuck-you-all-I-succeeded-despite-all-of-your-bullshit person, anyway.

I Have A Strong Dislike For People

Hey. I’ve talked about how I coach baseball before, right? Well, last night was our first playoff game. Overall it was a pretty good game, even though we ended up losing by one, but that’s not the point. During the game, one of the parents from the other team said something about one of the kids on my team. The asshole said something along the lines of, “this kid shouldn’t be playing with eight-year-olds” or something like that. Now, that isn’t what pissed me off, but it annoyed me a bit, since the minor league goes up to age 12 and the kid in question, who I will refer to as M, is barely considered a ten-year-old this season (had he been born a month later than he was, he would’ve actually been considered a nine-year-old this season). However, I could see why someone might think that. M is a pretty big kid, and a wicked strong player.

Ugh People

Anyway, I decided to go over there and just tell the parent that, hey, M actually just turned ten, there’s no reason why he shouldn’t be playing with eight-year-olds. I figured the parent had made that comment because he was worried about his kid playing against M, maybe worried that his kid might get hurt because M’s such a good (and powerful) player, and I actually just wanted to set the record straight so he wouldn’t have to worry about it. That’s the only reason I went over there at all. So, I go over there and make a couple comments about how this is a really good game, and how I feel bad for some of the pitchers because a lot of perfect strikes were being called balls by the umpire. Small talk, you know? I was talking with a couple of the parents for a minute about how it could be worse, though, and the umpire could be favoring one team over the other, so at least he’s calling balls and strikes the same for each team, even if he is saying the strikes are balls.

After a minute or two of this, I was like, “Oh, and whoever said M shouldn’t be playing with eight-year-olds, he actually just turned ten about a month ago, so he’s well within his age range.” One of the parents pretty much flips out and is like, “What are you doing, coming over here just to start something?” I’m kinda taken aback at this point. Like, seriously, I wasn’t nasty about it at all, and just wanted to correct them to make them feel better. I said, “I’m not trying to cause trouble or anything, I just wanted to say that there’s no reason why M shouldn’t be playing with eight-year-olds,” but the asshole just kept going. He was like, “I’m not gonna listen to some smart-ass teenager who doesn’t know how to respect adults. Why don’t you just go back to your own side, little girl?” Ugh, even thinking about it right now is pissing me off all over again!

Sheldon And The Chip For Stupid People GIF.gif

At this point, I was really starting to get pissed off. I just said, “Respect is earned, and you’re not acting like an adult right now,” which, okay, maybe wasn’t the best way to try and keep the peace, but hey, I’ve never been one to just stand there while people insult me. I was so freaking pissed at this point. Then- get this!- he yells across the field, “Hey Tigers, you wanna come get your little girl and bring her back to your side?!” and one of the coaches from the other team hears and comes over. He says to me, “Hey, come on, just leave them alone,” which I don’t blame him for, because he only heard the asshole, but still. It was annoying that he was so quick to blame me, because I’ve been involved with this baseball league for over a decade, and I’m umpired a lot of his games, so I know he knows I’m not a bad kid or a troublemaker or anything, but whatever. At that point, I just walked back over to the other side and tried to keep my mouth shut, because it just wasn’t worth it.

I freaking hate people who think they’re better than you just because they’re older. That’s bullshit. Ugh. See? This is why I don’t like people! Everyone always thinks I’m kidding when I say, “I just have a strong dislike for people in general,” but I’m being completely honest. People in general just piss me off.

List Of Reasons Not To Like You.gif

If there’s one thing I absolutely cannot stand, it’s when people have that “holier than thou” attitude. Ugh. Seriously. I just… ugh!

Well, that’s it for now. Hopefully I’ll keep posting. Bye!

-Sam

P.S. As always, the links to the original pages can be found by clicking the images.

I’m Blamed For Everything!

Hey. Everything is my fucking fault. I’m so tired of this shit. Okay, for your sakes, I’ll back up a bit and explain why I’m so fucking pissed that I might possibly rip somebody’s fucking head off right now. Anyways, today we did our English presentations on Romanticism and Transcendentalism. We all made the powerpoint on Google Drive, but I put it together on Movie Maker (which apparently makes me liable for any fucking screw ups). So, the presentation started out good for the first two minutes, with me getting compliments on how nice it looked. Then M1 (I won’t use names) started stuttering (because apparently nobody looks over the outline I give them the night before the presentation is due!), and she gives me a dirty look when the slide changes before she’s done speaking, and is like “okay then.” My teacher tells me to slow down the slides, so I look like an idiot pausing and unpausing the presentation (and because of this none of the effects are visible!). Then, when M2 is presenting, she starts reading C’s part, so I quietly correct her, and my teacher notices this, and makes me look like an ass AND an idiot. Then C goes, and she presents horribly. After our  supposed-to-be-awesome-but-turned-out-disgusting presentation was over, C and M1 are like, “we’re mad at you,” and they say oh, the slides went too fast, you paraphrased too much, blah blah blah. First off, what the fuck C?! You didn’t even do the right work until the day before! Second, I’d like to see you make that awesome a presentation. Next, you aren’t supposed to put fucking long-ass sentences on a powerpoint, you’re supposed to fucking summarize! It’s not my fucking fault I was the only one prepared to say my part! Just shut the fuck up. Are you happy? You’ve royally pissed me off. Majorly.

Sorry for the rant, but I needed to get that out. I actually feel a lot better. Alright, bye!

-Sam

P.S. Sorry for all the swearing, but I’m fucking PISSED!