Four Days Down And I’m Already 6,370 Words Behind

Hey! So, I’ve been super busy the last four nights. On Tuesday, I wrote 10+ freaking pages of a Dos quarter project (which, by the way, ended up 18 pages!), reviewed it, and re-wrote the final draft. So, I only got 963 out of 1,666 words done that day. Wednesday night, I volunteered at my school’s freshman (and LEAP) orientation, which was from 6:30 – 8:30. I didn’t get home until around 3:45, either. I only got 928 words written Wednesday. On Thursday, I was exhausted and feeling sick, so I went to bed at, like, 7 o’clock, plus I met with teachers at school until 4, so I got home around 4:30, which left 2 1/2 hours in between, where I did homework, ate dinner, and took a shower, so I only wrote 72 words. Wow. Amazing.

Last night was my sister’s 8th birthday. Which, by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA!!

Last night, as you may be able to tell, was a change of pace, birthday-wise, yet it was the same, word count-wise (sort of- you’ll see why). I left school at noon because I had a doctors appointment, but that ended a half hour before school normally does, so I would’ve had a bunch of time to write, had it been a regular day. It wasn’t. My mom and I ate at McDonalds real quick, then ran to Party City (by the way, I’m very disappointed in you, Party City- iParty is way better. You shouldn’t’ve bought it out!) because we needed party stuff. We spent about an hour there, because we couldn’t find anything we needed except for party favors.

Party City, you’re a lame-o. I mean, Frozen is the biggest movie right now. It only makes sense that you’d carry Frozen themed party supplies.

But noooo, of course not- only napkins and two balloons. So, we had to improvise, and we tried to find any types of goodie bags that weren’t themed. We ended up having to ask where they were, too, since Party City is kinda disorganized, in my opinion.

Anyways, we finally leave Party City and go to Stop & Shop across the street to pick up the cake and get Mina’s card (Mina is Amanda’s nickname because that’s what she called herself when she was little), which, by the way, I picked out. By the time we get home, it’s past 4, so I have to rush to get everything ready. On a side note, I killed my thumb again (I’d slammed it between the upstairs-bathroom under-the-sink cabinets the night before) by trying to use scissors, and when I tried to squeeze the scissors together, the bump on my thumb pressed up against the scissors. I literally screamed. Ouch.

So, we go to my sister’s party. We leave at 6:15 and get home at 9:45. As of last night (not counting the words I’m supposed to do today that I’m probably going to fall short of, too), I only had 1,963 words written total, leaving me 6,370 words behind. At this rate, I won’t finish on April 30- I’ll be done sometime around the end of July!

Not that I’m not trying, of course. Because I am. It’s just, how the hell am I supposed to write about 1,600 words a day when everyone is nagging me to do something else (and the occasional thing I want to do besides write)?

Camp NaNoWriMo is great. I absolutely love it. I just wish my life wasn’t so hectic so I could actually have a chance to win it!

I guess I’ll have to do most of my work on the weekends. Scratch that, I’ll have to do most of my work locked up in my room on a Sunday, since Saturday is ~cough~ hell day ~cough~ excuse me, I must be getting sick or something 🙂 Saturday is chore day. All. Freaking. Day. And if my mom sees me doing “nothing” (a.k.a. sitting on my bed typing) on Sunday, she’ll give me more chores. It’s a lose-lose situation for me 😦

Anyways, I need to step up my game. Not only do I want to finish Running for the sake of finishing it, I want to get to the end because I absolutely love how it turns out. It’s freaking amazing (plus, I have it more planned out then I do now, so it’ll be easier to get more words in a shorter amount of time).

And, besides all that, it’d be nice just to win at something for once. Especially something I won at because of me.

I just wish it wasn’t so damn hard to find time. I swear, during NaNoWriMo months, the whole world conspires against me to make sure I have no time to write.

I came to a realization last night, which was that when I have no time to write, my brain it on idea overload, yet when my computer is in front of me, I’m working slowly (for me- it’s probably the normal person’s fast). I seriously hate that. Like, why?!

One things my ADHD brain simply cannot stand is editing. Which is what makes NaNoWriMo great, because you don’t have to edit anything for that month. I don’t really know why I hate editing so much, except for maybe because it’s a little repetitive, and my personality+ADHD+repetitive=NOT GOOD.

Also, I hate to write a bunch of detail. I hate to read a bunch of detail, too. Like, a little bit is okay, but don’t get all J. R. R. Tolkien on me! I can’t deal with it, partly because of my ADHD, partly because I just have a short attention span in general. I literally have to force myself to write a lot of detail sometimes, like for The Crystal Guardians: Book 1, when I’m explaining all the Reddikan stuff since it’s alien (literally), and people won’t be able to picture it or understand it well unless I explain it with great detail.

My friend had 5,577 words written. As of before 6:30 p.m. two days ago (April 3). And I’m just here like, yeah, today I gotta write more than you have total to be on par.

So, yeah. I’m gonna go write. Wish me luck! Bye!

-Sam

P.S. As usual, the original image URLs can be found by clicking the images, which I do not own, nor do I pretend to own.

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I’m Happy Being In The Present, Thank You Very Much!

Hey! So, I’ve thought about time travel for a long time (years, actually) and I’ve come up with this conclusion– I’m content with staying in the present, thanks. It’s not that I don’t think it’d be cool to see the Revolutionary War take place, or witness the 100th president of the United States be inaugurated (okay, that wouldn’t be very interesting, in my opinion, but it’s the first realistic future event I could think of!), but I’d rather stay here in 2014 and learn from my mistakes one at a time, grow up in time, start a family in time. Plus, I’m scared shitless that I’d screw with time and create some sort of paradox that would make the world explode or something.

KABOOM!

Why do I want to stay in the present? Well, there’s three simple reasons. One, like I said, I’m too scared to do anything else. Two, I want to do everything in the right time, because what if, in going to the future, I misinterpret something and end up doing something horrible (I actually have a story idea for this– more on it once I develop it)? The third reason is silly, but I was born on September 11, 1998, at exactly 7:00 am. I don’t want to age in the future, then come back to the past and be born a day or two later (technically, by age). I LOVE my birthday and birth time. My birthday is awesome because no one ever forgets it (plus I just don’t want it changed since it’s been that way for over 15 1/2 years, soo…). My birth time is so awesome because it’s exact. That’s pretty cool.

I just, I can’t fathom being anywhere else. I’ve worked so hard to get where I am, and I have so much more to do. What if time travelling messes with all my hard work on trying to establish good habits (not to mention all the work I’ve done on my history quarter project for Dos during the weekend!)? Personally, I feel it’s not worth the risk, especially when I have those I love to take into account. What if they’re affected, too?

People always use this example (at least in my experience), but I’m going to use it again. What if you kill a butterfly? So what, it’s just a butterfly, but that butterfly was a piece of time. What if it was the reason your parents met (like your mom chased that butterfly four miles until she literally smacked into your dad, and they stayed friends ever since then)? You wouldn’t exist, and it would be a paradox, because if you didn’t exist, then who killed that butterfly? UGH! Paradoxes are so confusing!

It’s not like I don’t want to go back in time. If I could go anywhere in time, knowing for sure that nothing would be screwed up (which would be impossible to know!), I’d go see my grandma again. She died on June 21, 2010. I don’t really know what I’d do, because what do you do when you know it’s the last time you’re going to see someone? I do know I’d give her lots of hugs and kisses and I-love-you’s.

❤ Love you, Mammy! XOXO

But, with all the bad that came out of her death came some good as well. My other grandma became much kinder. My grandpa began to get healthier. And there’s a bunch of other things, too.

A good book on the man who invented time itself, a.k.a. Father Time, is The Time Keeper, written by Mitch Albom. It’s amazing, inspiring, a really good read. I highly recommend it, even if you hate reading.

There’s a quote in there. A good one. It brought up a point that I’d actually contemplated when I had my mid-life crisis at 8 years old, but, other than that, I hadn’t thought of this since. And, in my 8-year-old knowledge, I hadn’t been able to think of it in this way. Here’s the quote:

“Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can’t. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out.”     -Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper

Here’s another awesome quote from The Time Keeper (I tell you, this book way up there for containing the most inspirational, life-changing quotes, and it only has, like, 250 pages!). I took a picture from my own book and cropped it to show only the quote:

Dor (Father Time) : There is a reason God limits our days. Victor : Why? Dor : To make each one precious.

I’m pretty sure Mitch Albom wasn’t thinking of time travel when he wrote the book (or maybe he was…?). But these quotes fit this post perfectly.

So, time travel? I’m good (plus, I’m too chicken to risk screwing up the space-time continuum). I’d much rather stay in the present, where I can face similar unknowns and learn from my mistakes (as if time travel is possible for me right now, anyways– maybe for the government or something, but not for me). I’m quite content rolling with the punches as they come, in the order they’re meant to come (which is in chronological order– the ones I’m supposed to face as a 11-year-old, I’m not going to face again, at least not in the exact same way), even if it does mean no second chances. I’m fine with living with my mistakes, because it also means living with my triumphs. And who would I be without my mistakes? A stuck-up person who can’t learn, because everyone makes mistakes, and if I think I don’t, then I obviously don’t pay enough attention to learn from them, and… well, Houston, we have a problem.

I’ll end on a thought to ponder that I’ve always wondered about– how can time be reversible if it’s relative? Like weight, it changes with location. And we invented time, so how can we turn back the clock? Time only exists in our minds (whoa, my brain physically feels weird re-reading that, but it’s true!). Without us, there’s no one to measure time, therefore, time doesn’t exist.

I think there’d be both good and bad aspects of not knowing about time. I’ll start with the good. We’d never be late. We wouldn’t have to stress about deadlines. It would be a whole new world. We’d live simply. The world would live simply, be a simple place in general.

But, despite all the possible pros of no concept of time, I do believe we know about time for a reason. And that reason is just as Mitch Albom said. If our days weren’t limited, would we care about our actions of now? We would have infinite time to make up for it, which would turn into “nah, I’ll make up for it later, cuz I still have infinite time.” No one would forgive because nobody would try to fix anything, since “oh, we could just do it tomorrow.” And that, my friends, would be a big problem.

I’m glad our days are numbered. While I wish everyone went at the expected time, like parents first, then children, that’s not always the way it works. But you know what– where would we be if we lived forever? Eventually, we would run out of room on the planet, run out of resources, and there’s be a full-out war. Who knows if anyone (or anything) would be left afterwards?

I’m not going to experiment with time and space, even if I ever miraculously get the chance. I’m no better than any one of you– I’m just here to live my life in the best way possible, then move on. And if I traveled through time, that wouldn’t happen, which isn’t something I want, even if it were possible. So, even if given the chance, I’m going to continue living for now. Because this is where it all is.

The past is the past– it’s already happened. The future is determined by our actions now. I want to be part of the future, so I’ll live for now and help make it. And that’s good enough for me.

-Sam

P.S. As always, the original image URLs, if not mine, can be found by simply clicking the image. Also, this was written in response to this week’s Weekly Writing Challenge.

Meet The Genius Who’s Failing History (A.K.A. Me)

Hey! I just realized something now, something that I don’t think has ever really hit me before- I want to be successful. So badly. But right now, when I say that I’ll be successful… well, it’s not gonna happen if I don’t make some major life improvements. And fast. I have so many goals for the future (some of them realistic and down-to-earth, and some of them a little out-of-the-ordinary), but many of them depend on my achievements of now and of the next few years, like if I attend a good college. I want to be comfortable with money. I don’t want to have to worry about sending my future (six?) kids to private schools because the public school sucks (it might not, but I want to stay living in my town when I grow up, so unless there are some major changes, then that’s going to be a reality). I want to be able to donate a shit-ton of money to childhood cancer research, because those kids are worth more than 3%. I want to be someone big.

Have I ever mentioned before that my favorite car ever is a yellow Porsche 911 Turbo? And no, it’s not because of Alice Cullen. Not at all. I loved this car before New Moon was even published (I think that’s the one where Alice and Bella steal the car to save Edward?). To be honest, my love for this car is because of a video game, Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit 2 (PS2 version). Which, by the way, was released on October 1, 2002. Yes, I know, I was only four then, but we got it a couple years later when my Uncle gave my brother and I our very own PS2 (yes, I was a video game addict at probably the age of 7). Now, back to the point. As you should know, it’s a lot of money. But if I’m successful, I can eventually buy one. Except, if I keep going at this rate, I’m not even going to go to college.

This is the best car ever. Seriously.

Did you know that I’m a genius? No, seriously- my IQ (I forget the exact number, I’ll ask my mom later and then give you an update) is above the number that is considered to be genius (I’ll ask my mom on what that number is and get back to you on that one, too). Also, like I said in a previous post, I scored in the top 1% in the country when I took the placement exam for my high school. I’m a literal genius, and I’m failing history. I got a 17 on a quiz. A freaking 17. I got straight A’s in elementary and middle school, and now I’m doing horrible in high school. Why? How? I know that really, really smart people (like me, apparently) tend to do really, really bad in school, but my question is this: if I’m called an enigma in literally everything else, then why must I be normal in this case? To be blunt, it seriously blows.

I don’t understand why I’m having so much trouble in school. I mean, it’s not like I hate it. Quite the contrary, actually- I love my school, and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I actually cry when I think about leaving BCHS. Especially because I’d be leaving Mr. Rose and Ms. Picone. Now that would suck, leaving them. I just, I don’t know what’s going on. Why can’t I do it? Like I said, I’m a freaking genius! I should be able to do this easily. Why can’t I? Why?

My parents say I might not go back to BCHS next year if there isn’t some drastic improvement in both my grades and my behavior (that’s for another post, in which my confusion will most likely be very clear). That scares me. So much. For one, because that would mean going back to my town’s school, where the kids are just plain cruel, horrible excuses for human beings. But mostly because that would mean leaving so much behind. I would be leaving my friends (the only non-BCHS friend I have is Gabby), Mr. Rose, Ms. Picone, the general niceness of BCHS, the helpfulness… everything. That right there terrifies me. I can’t leave this. I can’t.

I’m in so much trouble, for everything that’s happened (and some things that haven’t), it’s not even funny. I’m pretty much under house arrest without being a literal criminal. I’m not allowed to do anything, even watch Grey’s Anatomy D: Which really, really sucks, because now I’m two episodes behind. Besides that, my parents have a meeting with my school on Monday at 3:00, and they’re making me go (so, pray, think, whatever you do, for me at 3:00 pm EST on Monday! I’ll need it! 😦 ), so that should be torture. I want to cry just thinking about it. But besides that, because I’m in trouble, my stupid oldest brother (he’s 13) has been trying to feed in to my parent’s anger to try and get me in trouble. Here’s an example: two nights ago, he had to switch over the laundry. He was mad at me for some reason, and he closed the basement door when he went downstairs. Well, I went to tell my mom something (luckily) and all of a sudden we hear a bang and a “HEY!” This repeats a few times until my mom says “knock it off! She’s up here!” My brother goes “Oh” and the basement door squeaks open. He barely got in trouble for it, though. And he denied it, saying the door was jammed. But do you see what I mean?!

My life is filled with “if’s” and question marks. Because right now, that’s what my future is. One big question mark. I could be a huge success. But, the way I’m going, I could be a giant failure. I really don’t know. I wish I could say, “I’m going to be a success!” But I honestly don’t know right now. And that’s sad.

Which way will I go?

Seriously, though, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m about to fail history for the year, and my life is falling apart. I really, really hope it gets better, but one question lingers in the back of my mind: what if it doesn’t? Well, I don’t know, Sam. I just don’t know.

-Sam

P.S. As always, the original image URLs can be found by clicking the images.

Here’s The Thing About Age (That No One Seems To Know)

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.     -Francis Bacon

Hey! So, in case you haven’t guessed from the title and the above quote, this post is about what I think of age (basically that it’s overrated), in response to this weeks writing challenge, found here. I found the prompt pretty interesting (which is why I chose to do it). Basically, I’m supposed to write what exactly age is to me. I apparently had the option to construct a character and explore how they change with age (damn it! I missed that part!), but, as you can see, I didn’t see that, and I already have an awesome idea of what to type up for the rest of the post. Now, without further ado, let’s get started, shall we?

The above picture about sums up what I believe just about every one thinks of age, which is why I put it in here (that and it looks cool). Mostly, when people think of age, they think of time. For almost everyone, “age” and “time” are two words that are tied together like the words “sponge” and “bob” (please tell me you got that reference!). But I’m going to tell you something: that’s not true.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: age, in the literal sense, is just a number. But in the long run, that isn’t how we measure things, is it? All that goes by age is drinking, being an adult (and doing adult stuff, like joining the army and things like that), and driving. Sure there’s more, but those are the main things. Even school doesn’t really go by age- it goes by how well you know the material. Society measures things in many different ways, but normally, not age. We go by height and weight for riding roller coasters and riding in car seats. We go by smarts in school. We go by gender for bathrooms. Hell, we go by money for some things, like politics because people who aren’t rich can’t advertise, which means they can’t get their ideas out, which means no winning any election because they won’t get any votes (which is sad, but that’s for another post). But we sure don’t use age as a measure for almost everything. It’s the exact opposite of that, though it may be hard to believe.

Another thing about age is, it isn’t always measured by numbers. In my opinion, how old you are in years should be thrown out the window, because think of what some really young people have been through in experience. Yeah, more than some of the oldest people you know have been through. So, not listening to someone’s advice because they’re young? That’s bullshit. This may a little cliché, but sometimes the youngest people are the wisest. Like, even five and six year olds. Example time!

So, I’m sure you’ve all heard of the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting that happened in Newtown, Connecticut (which, by the way, is a town right next to where some of my family lives), on December 14, 2012. Well, you probably haven’t heard what six-year-old Jesse Lewis did to save his classmates just moments before he died, now have you? Let me set the scene for you: Jesse’s teacher had just been killed (who, by the way, Jesse had been standing next to, comforting, while the rest of his classmates were hiding). The gunman had stopped shooting for a second because his gun had jammed. While this happened, Jesse yelled “RUN!” to his classmates. He saved some of their lives, because some of them listened. In his classroom, eleven students survived, most thanks to Jesse. In the other classroom that the gunman got into, only one student survived. This account was relayed by several of the surviving students from Jesse’s class, who helped piece together Jesse’s last minute heroics.

Jesse Lewis

Jesse is a hero. At six years old. I’m sure that comes as a surprise for many of you, but not for me. You see, the wisest, most selfless people in the world tend to be young children, because they haven’t yet been corrupted by worries and the stress of daily life yet. Maybe I’m a little biased (but I don’t think so, because I’m not discussing teenagers), but little kids are the ones worth listening to.

Now, to get to the real subject of this post. This will probably come as a shocker to you, but… age means almost nothing to me. Keyword is almost. Yeah, I’m looking forward to being 16, when I can get my permit, 16 1/2, when I can drive, 17 1/2, when I graduate high school (my birthday is September 11, 1998, and I graduate in 2016), 18, when I start college, (and so on), but that’s just the details. I try not to worry about that too much. Because that’s the future. And do you know what ultimately decides my future? My present. My actions and decisions and experiences of now. That quote I have at the beginning of this post? That’s pretty much my life. I thought 15 was old when I was 13 (not old old, but… well, you know what I mean). Now that I’m 15, it’s nothing.

That’s because age itself is nothing. Experience is everything. You could have a 20-year-old woman who’s lost her entire family, house, has a disability, and has been bullied her entire life, and a 50-year-old woman who lived a fairly normal, nothing-out-of-the-ordinary life, whose whole family (including parents) is still alive, both available to be your mentor. If you could only choose one, based on experience, who would you choose? If you were smart, you’d choose the 20-year-old woman, because she has more experience, and she’s more prepared to help you with whatever life throws at you. I guess what I’m saying is, instead of don’t judge a book b y it’s cover, don’t judge a person by his or her age.

One last thing on this topic. Why are some people ~cough~ women 30 and over ~cough~ afraid to say their age? With age comes a certain regal air that you carry around with you. Another thing is, it’s like betraying your true self. There’s no lying to your body. Plus, karma will screw you over for that one, one way or another. So, don’t do it, for those reasons (also, stop doing it because it seriously pisses me off when I can’t get a straight answer out of you).

I have a lot more to say about age, but it can’t really be put into paragraphs, just separate sentences that don’t go together, so it won’t work for this post. Anyways, I hope you got something out of this post. Even if you didn’t, it was still fun to write (I really hope you got something out of it, though!). What are your thoughts on age? Tell me, if you want. Now, I’ll leave you with one of my own thoughts that I’ve been saying for years (just with slightly different phrasing to fit this post):

I swear, when I turn 30, I’m gonna say it loud and proud, because lying and saying I’m 29 is BS. I’m going to stay true to me, and I hope that, from now on, you will, too.

-Sam

P.S. As always, the original URLs for the pictures can be found by simply clicking on the pictures. I don’t own the pictures used in this post, nor do I pretend to own them.

Freedom Of Speech Has Turned Into Keep Your Damn Opinions To Yourself

Hey. So, Gabby (a.k.a. my best friend) and I just had a conversation on Facebook. Do you want to know what it was about? She told me to stop putting my opinions about abortion on Facebook, because it’s a controversial topic, which makes it wrong for me to post my opinions about it. Now, since I believe in freedom of speech, and since the country in which I live in is supposed to believe in it as well (even though it doesn’t anymore, but we’ll get into that in a second), I’ll say that yes, I believe abortion is wrong. It’s just what I feel is right. But if you want a real reason for my thinking (which I don’t need to give, but I’m going to anyway), then I’ll say to you what I say to everyone who asks me for a “real” reason (because following my heart doesn’t count, right?) : if scientists found a few cells on another planet, they would flip out and be like “OMG we found life!!” So, why aren’t a few cells in a woman’s body considered life?

Alright, that’s it for my opinion on abortion. Now, back to the real reason for this post. As I was saying, Gabby was saying how I shouldn’t put it on Facebook. And if you want to hear our conversation in exact words (with […] inserted for irrelevant stuff that has nothing to do with this topic), then here:

Stop putting this abort option shit on Facebook -_-  it’s an opinion. Sharing yours is your right. But it’s controversial at the moment. So it’s MESSED for you to be posting about it. Just saying (/*_*)/ so staaahp        -Gabby

it’s also my right to express my opinion… freedon of speech… I don’t care what others think, it’s killing a baby -me (Sam)

But it’s controversial -Gabby

so what? -me (Sam)

I can’t express my opinion because it might conflict with others’ opinions? -me (Sam)

if we went by that, then the world would b silent -me (Sam)

Then don’t put it on Facebook -_-  -Gabby

And then she skipped back to our previous conversation (the […] in the above conversation) and our conversation about my post on abortion was pretty much over. But do you see what I’m saying? America had NO freedom of speech anymore. And don’t blame all of it on Obama, people- as much as I dislike him, this is probably the only thing that isn’t totally his fault. This happened because of society.

First, let me just use the example that I used against my dad the other day (which I probably shouldn’t have, since I was getting in trouble, but whatever 🙂 ): if no one asked questions, or voiced their opinions, or acted on their opinions, all the Jews would be dead. Hitler would’ve been successful if we didn’t question him, didn’t act on our opinions that the Jews are not a “diseased race,” and the Jewish race would be extinct, and who knows how hellish the world would be today. My point is, voiced opinions make the world a better place.

Now, there’s a time, and a place, to voice those opinions. When you’re getting in trouble for having an attitude with your parents, like I was? Well, that’s probably not my best timing (although, I never seem to have good timing, so who knows!). But when you’re on Facebook, and you have the option to share anything? Go right ahead! Anyone who doesn’t like it can get the hell out and unfriend you! Who cares?! Obviously, if they unfriend you because of you voicing your opinions, they aren’t a good “friend” anyways, if they were even your friend go begin with. What’s the point of communicating with someone who can’t respect your opinion, anyways?

Nowadays, even the social media is all over you for expressing your opinion. For example, take Phil Robertson. His opinion on being gay is that it’s wrong. Although personally I don’t agree with him, I respect his opinion because he is supposed to have freedom of speech (but apparently he doesn’t!). And like I said in a previous post, he wasn’t threatening to the gay people, so therefore everyone should calm down because he did nothing wrong. He was merely expressing his opinion. Despite the fact that he could have done this in a better way, it’s his right. He shouldn’t have to hide his opinions just because they conflict with the national majority. Every single person has the right to freedom of speech, meaning they should be able to freely express their opinions without being shunned by the public. Keyword is should, since this doesn’t happen.

I’m sorry, I guess I just don’t understand what’s so bad about stating your opinion when it doesn’t agree with others’. Actually, that’s the best time to give your input, when it contradicts others’ opinions. You want to know why? Because it enriched a conversation, a topic, a discussion, a debate, whatever it is that’s going on. Especially when it’s a controversial topic. Those are the best discussions to have, I believe, because it’s about a matter of opinions, so you have to rely on yourself to convince others that your idea or view is right.

I’m not saying that people should just drop everything and believe every word that comes out of a person’s mouth, because that’s not right. What should happen is that you state your opinion, and then, if it’s relevant to the topic (for example, backing up my opinion on gay rights is not relevant to this post, so I didn’t, and  I backed up my views on abortion to prove a point), you back up your opinion. So, if any of you have any comments about this, I expect them to be backed up, because that would be relevant (most likely!).

But the question I ask you is this: why are we so unaccepting of others’ opinions, though we’d do anything to defend our own if we were under fire for them like Phil Robertson was? Why do we think “politically correct” is not speaking our minds and hearts, and just letting people do whatever they want? And if that’s really politically correct, then I say to you, screw it! Why should we protect others if that means not defending ourselves?! We come first (unless you have children, because then I’m pretty sure they come before anything else, right?)! We need to express our feelings, our opinions, our views, our beliefs, and do this without worrying about offending others. Because you know what? No matter what, you’re going to offend someone. Hell, it offends me when people do stuff like what Gabby pulled! So stop, okay?! Just stop!

Alright, now that I’ve gotten that across, I’ll leave you with this: people are always waiting, always listening for your take on different events, your opinion of different things. So what are you going to do? Are you going to give them what they want? Or are you going to leave them hanging? No matter what you decide to do in this moment, just remember that the microphone’s always waiting in the next.

-Sam

P.S. As always, the original image URLs can be found by clicking on the images.

Reminiscing, Emptiness, And Missing

Hey! So, for the first time ever, since I just found out about it and thought it would be fun, I’m going to do the weekly writing challenge that was posted by WordPress. This week’s prompt is to write a post based on a picture, and the picture I chose was emptiness, which is below. Now, without further ado, let’s begin, shall we?

Emptiness
photo credits to Cheri Lucas Rowlands

To my daughter,

These last few months have been really hard. Whoever says time heals all wounds has obviously never lost a child. Because that’s what you are, aren’t you? You’re lost. You were kidnapped at five days old. Your daddy and I only have five days of memories with you. That’s… I don’t know what that is. But it isn’t meant to be. Remind me to go back in time and make sure that the phrase “everything happens for a reason” is never said, either.

Anyway, I guess this whole year has been hard. The let downs, the lost hopes. Especially the loneliness. I was holding on to the hope that you would be back with us for your first birthday. But you weren’t. I was holding on to the hope that you would be back with us for your second birthday five days ago. But you weren’t. Plus, the one year anniversary of your kidnapping happened. I wasn’t prepared for that. Not at all. But I got through it. Just like I’ve gotten through each and every day without you.

I don’t know why people think anything besides you being back can fix my broken, bleeding heart. It’s broken beyond repair. I say this because recently, in the past few months, your daddy and I have gotten a few comments that have told us that maybe we would feel better if we had another baby. Even my best friend said this. Needless to say, she’s not my best friend anymore. I feel like a child saying that, but it’s true. She was the person that I vented to the most, so she should know what I’m feeling. I guess she just wasn’t listening.

Anyways, I just can’t see having another baby when you, my daughter, my only child, my everything, are gone. Your daddy feels the same way. We feel as if it would be betraying you. How could we possibly pretend to be happy with another child? All we want is you.

I don’t think we’ll ever get used to this emptiness, and I know for a fact that the gaping hole in our hearts can’t be filled without you. You are the only thing that can make your daddy and I feel complete. You, and you alone can put us back together again. But we’ll never be fully healed. We’ll never be who we were before you were five days old.

Whenever I think of you, I always wonder where you are. It always makes me feel hollow inside, like I’m nothing. I’m your mom, I should be able to protect you. Instead, I don’t even know where you are. I’m filled with so much despair and anguish at the thought, sometimes I don’t know how I’m still alive.

Wherever you are, do you know that you’ve been gone for two years today? It’s 3:49 AM right now, on November 13, 2000. Exactly two years ago right now, you woke up crying, and I fed you in the night for the last time. In exactly 7 hours and 54 minutes, it’ll be the exact anniversary of your daddy being shot trying to protect us. I remember it so clearly. I was staring down at you, and you were gazing back up at me, and our identical blue eyes, yours so big and bright, refused to look anywhere else besides each other. Your daddy had just started the fire and was standing up when they broke in the windows. I instinctively held you closer and jumped up, screaming. You started to wail. I frantically looked around, the fear settling in my gut. I didn’t see them until I saw the gun, and then a second later heard the shot.

I started to run, not looking back, knowing what would await me. Your daddy on the floor, his life going out of him. I didn’t know where to go, but I knew I had to go somewhere, I knew I had to keep you safe, I knew you were worth my life a million times over. But, despite my speed, despite my motivation- you- I didn’t even make it out the door.

Someone grabbed my hair, and as I fell backwards, I made sure to hold you close so you wouldn’t get hurt. I had time to plant a kiss on your head before they stole you from my arms. I screamed and screamed. But before I even had a chance to react, they were gone.

I curled up into a ball and wailed for a minute before going to help your daddy. I think that’s what saved his life. The sobbing helped me to stop shaking just enough to be able to slow the bleeding so he was able to be moved. He was so pale, I would’ve thought he was dead if I hadn’t heard him murmuring your name, even in his unconscious state. I ran to to other room to get the phone, and ran back to your daddy as I dialed 911, so afraid that he had died in the second it took me to grab the phone.

It took your daddy months to heal. Well, at least physically. The pain of you being gone is still as fresh and raw as it was two years ago. The only thing that keep me alive is my job, which I am so grateful to have, since it allows me to work your file. Despite how hard it is, I don’t feel worthless, like I’m not doing anything. And the thing that really keeps me going is the fact that you might still be alive somewhere. I hold on to the hope that if they wanted to kill you, they would’ve done it in front of me, to cause me more pain.

Baby, know that I won’t stop until I find you. Neither will your daddy. We won’t stop until we can be a family again.

Love, Mommy

That was written in the first person point of view of a character in the book I’m writing, Running. I’m not going to say who, but if you’ve read the first two chapters (which, sadly, is all I’ve put up right now) you might be able to guess. This was really fun to write (not that I expected otherwise! 🙂 ), and it gave me more insight into this character (I almost just typed her name!).

click this cover of Running to read what’s written of Running on Wattpad

Alright, I’m going to go work on more of Running now, which I haven’t updated in over a month since I’ve been so busy. Hope you liked my… um, well, I don’t really know what to call it. You know what I mean. Anyway, that’s it. Bye!

 -Sam