Barba And Benson Deserve To Be Happy Together

I’m sure I’ve previously mentioned that I’m absolutely obsessed with Law & Order: SVU. For those of you who haven’t watched the latest episode, STOP READING NOW. There will be spoilers. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

At the end of the latest episode, The Undiscovered Country, longtime character and my personal favorite ADA on the show, Rafael Barba, quit after being found not guilty of second-degree murder, which he was charged with after unplugging a brain-dead baby (long story). Now, it’s always hard when a character leaves a show, especially when said character has been there for years, like Barba. However, what most upsets me, and the reason as to why I’ve been crying on and off for over twenty-four hours (don’t judge me), is because he left before the show had a chance to explore the romantic attraction between him and the main character, Olivia Benson.

Ever since Barba’s first appearance on SVU (season 14, episode 3, entitled Twenty-Five Acts), fans have wanted Liv and Barba to get together, and anyone who watches the show knows that the attraction between them is there, in part due to the fantastic chemistry between the actors who portray Liv and Barba (Mariska Hargitay and Raúl Esparza, respectively). It seemed only natural that the two characters would eventually develop a romantic relationship.

However, as of the most recent episode, that hasn’t happened, and things are looking very bleak for “Barson” (a blend of “Barba” and “Benson”) shippers such as myself, as the episode marked the departure of Raúl Esparza from SVU. Now, not only are we left without the one couple that everyone always expected to happen, as opposed to merely hoping it would, Liv is again left by her closest friend, confidant, and, in this case, romantic interest.

In their last scene together at the end of the episode, Barba talks about how, when they first met, he saw the law, right and wrong, in black and white before giving Liv a beautiful speech about how she’s changed him:

And then you, you started to weasel your way into my world and the black and white became different shades of gray. Don’t say it. Before I knew it there were blues and greens and yellows and reds. I’m you now, Liv. You opened my heart and I thank you for it.

-Rafael Barba

After this, Liv just says one word: “And?” And I know I can’t be the only one who expected and hoped beyond all hope that Barba was going to say “I love you” or kiss her or something. Instead, he simply tells her that he has to move on, and kisses her forehead (which is not the kiss I was referring to!).

And that was that.

All of my Barson hopes, dreams, and expectations died.

And I have spent the following twenty-four plus hours sobbing on and off (I’m not even exaggerating a little bit about this).

My only hope is that, while Raúl Esparza may no longer be part of the main cast, he will come back as a recurring character to give Liv and Barba a chance to be happy, like they both deserve. I’m having trouble convincing myself that this is the case, though. My Barson heart is broken.

They deserve better. *We* deserve better.


P.S. As usual, the original URLs for the pictures can be found by simply clicking the pictures. I do not own any of the images used in this post

Just To Clarify….

Hey. I know my last post may have seemed full of hatred toward my sister; however, that is not the case. While, yes, I was super pissed at her for acting the way she did and getting me into a shitload of trouble, I love her more than life itself. She’s my little sister and I would give my life for her in a heartbeat. She’s just a fucking asshole at times (but aren’t we all?).

Ugh. I’ve been sick literally this entire fucking month! I missed every single school day from Friday, October 30, through and including the entire next week. My first day back was last Monday. And, top it off, I’m fucking sick again! My throat is fucking killing me, and MY ENTIRE FUCKING BODY HURTS!! I can’t deal with this! Ugh!


Here’s The Thing About Age (That No One Seems To Know)

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.     -Francis Bacon

Hey! So, in case you haven’t guessed from the title and the above quote, this post is about what I think of age (basically that it’s overrated), in response to this weeks writing challenge, found here. I found the prompt pretty interesting (which is why I chose to do it). Basically, I’m supposed to write what exactly age is to me. I apparently had the option to construct a character and explore how they change with age (damn it! I missed that part!), but, as you can see, I didn’t see that, and I already have an awesome idea of what to type up for the rest of the post. Now, without further ado, let’s get started, shall we?

The above picture about sums up what I believe just about every one thinks of age, which is why I put it in here (that and it looks cool). Mostly, when people think of age, they think of time. For almost everyone, “age” and “time” are two words that are tied together like the words “sponge” and “bob” (please tell me you got that reference!). But I’m going to tell you something: that’s not true.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: age, in the literal sense, is just a number. But in the long run, that isn’t how we measure things, is it? All that goes by age is drinking, being an adult (and doing adult stuff, like joining the army and things like that), and driving. Sure there’s more, but those are the main things. Even school doesn’t really go by age- it goes by how well you know the material. Society measures things in many different ways, but normally, not age. We go by height and weight for riding roller coasters and riding in car seats. We go by smarts in school. We go by gender for bathrooms. Hell, we go by money for some things, like politics because people who aren’t rich can’t advertise, which means they can’t get their ideas out, which means no winning any election because they won’t get any votes (which is sad, but that’s for another post). But we sure don’t use age as a measure for almost everything. It’s the exact opposite of that, though it may be hard to believe.

Another thing about age is, it isn’t always measured by numbers. In my opinion, how old you are in years should be thrown out the window, because think of what some really young people have been through in experience. Yeah, more than some of the oldest people you know have been through. So, not listening to someone’s advice because they’re young? That’s bullshit. This may a little cliché, but sometimes the youngest people are the wisest. Like, even five and six year olds. Example time!

So, I’m sure you’ve all heard of the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting that happened in Newtown, Connecticut (which, by the way, is a town right next to where some of my family lives), on December 14, 2012. Well, you probably haven’t heard what six-year-old Jesse Lewis did to save his classmates just moments before he died, now have you? Let me set the scene for you: Jesse’s teacher had just been killed (who, by the way, Jesse had been standing next to, comforting, while the rest of his classmates were hiding). The gunman had stopped shooting for a second because his gun had jammed. While this happened, Jesse yelled “RUN!” to his classmates. He saved some of their lives, because some of them listened. In his classroom, eleven students survived, most thanks to Jesse. In the other classroom that the gunman got into, only one student survived. This account was relayed by several of the surviving students from Jesse’s class, who helped piece together Jesse’s last minute heroics.

Jesse Lewis

Jesse is a hero. At six years old. I’m sure that comes as a surprise for many of you, but not for me. You see, the wisest, most selfless people in the world tend to be young children, because they haven’t yet been corrupted by worries and the stress of daily life yet. Maybe I’m a little biased (but I don’t think so, because I’m not discussing teenagers), but little kids are the ones worth listening to.

Now, to get to the real subject of this post. This will probably come as a shocker to you, but… age means almost nothing to me. Keyword is almost. Yeah, I’m looking forward to being 16, when I can get my permit, 16 1/2, when I can drive, 17 1/2, when I graduate high school (my birthday is September 11, 1998, and I graduate in 2016), 18, when I start college, (and so on), but that’s just the details. I try not to worry about that too much. Because that’s the future. And do you know what ultimately decides my future? My present. My actions and decisions and experiences of now. That quote I have at the beginning of this post? That’s pretty much my life. I thought 15 was old when I was 13 (not old old, but… well, you know what I mean). Now that I’m 15, it’s nothing.

That’s because age itself is nothing. Experience is everything. You could have a 20-year-old woman who’s lost her entire family, house, has a disability, and has been bullied her entire life, and a 50-year-old woman who lived a fairly normal, nothing-out-of-the-ordinary life, whose whole family (including parents) is still alive, both available to be your mentor. If you could only choose one, based on experience, who would you choose? If you were smart, you’d choose the 20-year-old woman, because she has more experience, and she’s more prepared to help you with whatever life throws at you. I guess what I’m saying is, instead of don’t judge a book b y it’s cover, don’t judge a person by his or her age.

One last thing on this topic. Why are some people ~cough~ women 30 and over ~cough~ afraid to say their age? With age comes a certain regal air that you carry around with you. Another thing is, it’s like betraying your true self. There’s no lying to your body. Plus, karma will screw you over for that one, one way or another. So, don’t do it, for those reasons (also, stop doing it because it seriously pisses me off when I can’t get a straight answer out of you).

I have a lot more to say about age, but it can’t really be put into paragraphs, just separate sentences that don’t go together, so it won’t work for this post. Anyways, I hope you got something out of this post. Even if you didn’t, it was still fun to write (I really hope you got something out of it, though!). What are your thoughts on age? Tell me, if you want. Now, I’ll leave you with one of my own thoughts that I’ve been saying for years (just with slightly different phrasing to fit this post):

I swear, when I turn 30, I’m gonna say it loud and proud, because lying and saying I’m 29 is BS. I’m going to stay true to me, and I hope that, from now on, you will, too.


P.S. As always, the original URLs for the pictures can be found by simply clicking on the pictures. I don’t own the pictures used in this post, nor do I pretend to own them.

The Most Awesomest Song Ever

Hey. So I got home later then I thought I would, then forgot about this post for a little while, which is why this post is just getting up now. Anyway, I normally change my favorite song every couple weeks (just a fun fact- I don’t believe I’ve ever said that before). But my current favorite song has been consistent for a couple months now. I swear, I first heard it on Grey’s Anatomy, but I can’t seem to find any proof of that, so maybe I’m going even more crazier than I normally am. Anyways, wanna know what my favorite song is? It’s Gone Gone Gone, by Phillip Phillips. I can’t stop singing it, and it’s been stuck in my head for forever! Not that I’m complaining, because I love it, but it does make it hard to focus sometimes, though. Here’s a music video, with lyrics, plus lyrics at the bottom (I’m going all out 🙂 ):

When life leaves you high and dry
I’ll be at your door tonight
If you need help, if you need help
I’ll shut down the city lights,
I’ll lie, cheat, I’ll beg and bribe
To make you well, to make you well

When enemies are at your door
I’ll carry you away from war
If you need help, if you need help
Your hope dangling by a string
I’ll share in your suffering
To make you well, to make you well

Give me reasons to believe
That you would do the same for me

And I would do it for you, for you
Baby, I’m not moving on
I love you long after you’re gone.
For you, for you.
You would never sleep alone
I love you long after you’re gone
And long after you’re gone, gone, gone.

When you fall like a statue
I’m gon’ be there to catch you
Put you on your feet, you on your feet
And if your well is empty
Not a thing will prevent me
Tell me what you need, what do you need

I surrender honestly
You’ve always done the same for me

So I would do it for you, for you.
Baby, I’m not moving on
I love you long after you’re gone.
For you, for you.
You would never sleep alone.
I love you long after you’re gone
And long after you’re gone gone gone.

You’re my back bone,
You’re my cornerstone
You’re my crutch when my legs stop moving
You’re my head start,
You’re my rugged heart
You’re the pulse that I’ve always needed
Like a drum, baby, don’t stop beating
Like a drum, baby, don’t stop beating
Like a drum, baby, don’t stop beating
Like a drum my heart never stops beating

For you, for you
Baby I’m not moving on
I love you long after you’re gone.
For you, for you.
You would never sleep alone
I love you long after you’re gone.
For you, for you.
Baby I’m not moving on,
I love you long after you’re gone.
For you, for you.
You would never sleep alone.
I love you long, long after you’re gone.

Like a drum, baby, don’t stop beating
Like a drum, baby, don’t stop beating
Like a drum, baby, don’t stop beating
Like a drum my heart never stops beating for you

And long after you’re gone, gone, gone.
I love you long after you’re gone gone, gone.

Okay, I seriously got all of these lyrics right except for, like, literally two words. And by the way, the above lyrics aren’t mine. I copied and pasted them from here. But seriously, isn’t that song just AMAZING?! I LOVE it! It’s the most listened to on my iPod, I believe. Hang on, let me check…. Yep, it is 🙂 Anyways, I have to go study for my final midterm- Spanish. Which I struggle with. A lot. So, if you excuse me, I’m off to go struggle some more. Bye!


P.S. Apparently this is Sammi Talk’s 100th post. Cool! Let’s celebrate with some balloons:

Books I Want To Read In 2014

Hey. So, I love reading. It is the best. I am going to choose 12 books to read (1 for each month) in 2014, and tell them to you, and tell you why I chose them. Mostly, I’ve just been meaning to read them, but still. Anyways, here are the books, in no particular order (don’t worry about spoilers- one, I haven’t even read the books, so how could I spoil, and two, I’m not even including a summary, so, like I said, don’t worry).

1. I Am The Messenger by Markus Zusak

Well, I want to read this one for a few reasons. First, it’s written by Markus Zusak, who wrote The Book Thief, which was phenomenal. The best book I have ever read, with one of the worst endings I have ever read, seconded only to Allegiant by Veronica Roth. Second, It seems like a good book, period. It caught my eye with the author, and the description made me want to read more.

2. The 5th Wave by Rick Yancey

This one looks pretty interesting. I absolutely LOVE sci-fi, and this is that genre, so it caught my eye, along with the description. I found it on Barnes and Noble’s The Best New Books Of 2013 For Teens. It is intriguing also because the description is so mysterious- it leaves a lot to be uncovered in the story, and I want to know more.

3. If I Stay by Gayle Forman

This one I have been wanting to read since the 5th grade. It sounds really, really good, and everywhere I look says it’s extraordinarily written and a masterpiece (so I changed the words a little, but they still embody the basic ideas 🙂 ). It sounds amazing.

4. Stranger In A Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein

Okay, so I kind of cheated with this one a little. I’ve already started this one several times, but for some reason (although it’s an awesome book), I never seem to finish it (or even get more than 3/4 of the way through, for that matter). I don’t know why, but I am determined to find out what happens. Oh, and by the way, it took me a few minutes of scrolling to find this exact cover, the one to the book that I have. Apparently the “Original, Uncut” version has a unique cover. Who knew?

5. Angels And Demons by Dan Brown

I’ve been wanting to read this one for a while. It’s the first book in The DaVinci Code, and this cover is the original. Everyone’s been talking about it for as long as I can remember, and I’ve been meaning to read it for as long as I can remember, but I’ve just never gotten around to it.

6. Steelheart by Brandon Sanderson

Okay, I’ll admit it- I just looked at this one because of the cover at first. But I picked it because of what it sounded like. Fast-paced and full of action, which I love. Plus, it’s sci-fi. Well, we all know I’m a sucker for sci-fi 🙂

7. Asylum by Madeleine Roux

This one was also on Barnes and Noble’s The Best New Books Of 2013 For Teens. I do like horror (I saw The Conjuring, Insidious, and Insidious Chapter 2), so that’s why this one’s cover caught my eye. I looked into it, and it seemed pretty interesting, so I decided to pledge to read it in 2014.

8. In The After by Demitria Lunetta

I found this book under of Amazon’s Best Books Of The Year 2013: Teen & Young Adult. The title and the cover prompted me to further investigate this seemingly-interesting book. I really want to read it, for a few reasons. One, it leaves a lot to be answered. Two, it just seems interesting, and it makes me want to buy it right now and sit down and read it. But I’ll wait until 2014. Or at least until after Christmas, to see if I get any of these books (which I probably won’t, but you never know).

9. Dead To You by Lisa McMann

This one I found under Barnes and Noble’s Must-Reads For Teens. It seems very, very interesting, and I want to take a ride to the book store and pick it up right now. It wouldn’t be a problem except for one, I’m supposed to be doing homework, and two, I’m in my jammies….

10. Legend by Marie Lu

I’ve been meaning to read this for a couple months. It looks pretty interesting. I like mystery and suspense (as long as I can keep reading- have I ever mentioned that I HATE waiting and patience?!). It seems to be a mix of sci-fi and suspense, which is usually a good combination.

11. Parasite by Mira Grant

This sounds like an amazing idea for a book, and it’s sci-fi! I found it on Bookish’s The Best Sci-fi And Fantasy Books Of 2013 (yes, I’ve been Google-ing “the best teen sci-fi books of 2013” if you can’t tell 🙂 ). I can’t wait to see if the parasites- oh, wait, I promised no spoilers, not even summaries. Sorry!

12. The Host by Stephenie Meyer

I’ve been hearing about this for a couple of years now, and it sounds pretty good, and I want to see the movie, but I want to read the book first. I’ve been meaning to, but haven’t gotten around to it. I read Twilight (Taylor Lautner is wayyyy hotter than Robert Pattinson, and Jacob is way better than Edward for Bella, too, but don’t get me started), and I like Stephenie Meyer, so that should be a good read.

Wow, this was a REALLY long post. It took me around 2 hours to complete. Of course, I had to wrack my brains to try and remember the books I really wanted to read. You may ask, Sam, if you love reading so much, then why don’t you remember this stuff? The answer is, ADHD. I’m disorganized, which goes along with the ADHD, plus my brain works in different ways than normal people’s do (for that matter, it works different that normal ADHD people’s do! Doctors always call me an enigma!). I can store a lot of information in my mind, and even though it takes awhile to pull it back out, I can do it. Anyway, enough with this post. You’ve seen enough. Bye!



Hey. OUR NEW KITTEN!!!!! ❤ Burban is named after the color (which I don’t think I spelled right, but I like that spelling), and is 8 to 10 weeks old. She was taken from the wild by my mom’s friend because the friend didn’t want a thousand kittens to be born when Burban grew up, since Burban was living right near the friend’s house. The friend brought Burban to work yesterday and gave her to my mom, who brought her home. My dad suggested the name Burban, and it stuck! HERE SHE IS:


This next one has flash, unlike the last one, so her eyes are squinted, and look weird (plus she’s yawning), but you get a better look at the rest of her:


ISN’T SHE JUST THE CUTEST THING?! I love her so much! I held her for like literally five hours straight last night, and we bonded a lot! Okay, I’m going to go hold her again. More later! Bye!


Grey’s Anatomy

Hey. So, I love Grey’s Anatomy. It’s soooo awesome, but the hooks have me ripping my hair out. I guess they’re good, but they’re horrible for me because I HATE WAITING!!! And now I have to wait until Thursday to find out if the baby dies, or if Arizona is found out! ARGH!! I REALLY hate waiting. I mean, I’ve read good books with great hooks, but I can’t really think of any that had me this worked up before. And I love reading! So, as you can tell, I’m FREAKING OUT, and I will be until I see the next episode. I HATE the producers for this hook! Oh my God!! I can’t wait until Thursday! I wish I had a time machine so I could see it!! HURRY UP THURSDAY!!!! And on that note, I’ll end the post. Bye!