I’m Happy Being In The Present, Thank You Very Much!

Hey! So, I’ve thought about time travel for a long time (years, actually) and I’ve come up with this conclusion– I’m content with staying in the present, thanks. It’s not that I don’t think it’d be cool to see the Revolutionary War take place, or witness the 100th president of the United States be inaugurated (okay, that wouldn’t be very interesting, in my opinion, but it’s the first realistic future event I could think of!), but I’d rather stay here in 2014 and learn from my mistakes one at a time, grow up in time, start a family in time. Plus, I’m scared shitless that I’d screw with time and create some sort of paradox that would make the world explode or something.

KABOOM!

Why do I want to stay in the present? Well, there’s three simple reasons. One, like I said, I’m too scared to do anything else. Two, I want to do everything in the right time, because what if, in going to the future, I misinterpret something and end up doing something horrible (I actually have a story idea for this– more on it once I develop it)? The third reason is silly, but I was born on September 11, 1998, at exactly 7:00 am. I don’t want to age in the future, then come back to the past and be born a day or two later (technically, by age). I LOVE my birthday and birth time. My birthday is awesome because no one ever forgets it (plus I just don’t want it changed since it’s been that way for over 15 1/2 years, soo…). My birth time is so awesome because it’s exact. That’s pretty cool.

I just, I can’t fathom being anywhere else. I’ve worked so hard to get where I am, and I have so much more to do. What if time travelling messes with all my hard work on trying to establish good habits (not to mention all the work I’ve done on my history quarter project for Dos during the weekend!)? Personally, I feel it’s not worth the risk, especially when I have those I love to take into account. What if they’re affected, too?

People always use this example (at least in my experience), but I’m going to use it again. What if you kill a butterfly? So what, it’s just a butterfly, but that butterfly was a piece of time. What if it was the reason your parents met (like your mom chased that butterfly four miles until she literally smacked into your dad, and they stayed friends ever since then)? You wouldn’t exist, and it would be a paradox, because if you didn’t exist, then who killed that butterfly? UGH! Paradoxes are so confusing!

It’s not like I don’t want to go back in time. If I could go anywhere in time, knowing for sure that nothing would be screwed up (which would be impossible to know!), I’d go see my grandma again. She died on June 21, 2010. I don’t really know what I’d do, because what do you do when you know it’s the last time you’re going to see someone? I do know I’d give her lots of hugs and kisses and I-love-you’s.

❤ Love you, Mammy! XOXO

But, with all the bad that came out of her death came some good as well. My other grandma became much kinder. My grandpa began to get healthier. And there’s a bunch of other things, too.

A good book on the man who invented time itself, a.k.a. Father Time, is The Time Keeper, written by Mitch Albom. It’s amazing, inspiring, a really good read. I highly recommend it, even if you hate reading.

There’s a quote in there. A good one. It brought up a point that I’d actually contemplated when I had my mid-life crisis at 8 years old, but, other than that, I hadn’t thought of this since. And, in my 8-year-old knowledge, I hadn’t been able to think of it in this way. Here’s the quote:

“Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can’t. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out.”     -Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper

Here’s another awesome quote from The Time Keeper (I tell you, this book way up there for containing the most inspirational, life-changing quotes, and it only has, like, 250 pages!). I took a picture from my own book and cropped it to show only the quote:

Dor (Father Time) : There is a reason God limits our days. Victor : Why? Dor : To make each one precious.

I’m pretty sure Mitch Albom wasn’t thinking of time travel when he wrote the book (or maybe he was…?). But these quotes fit this post perfectly.

So, time travel? I’m good (plus, I’m too chicken to risk screwing up the space-time continuum). I’d much rather stay in the present, where I can face similar unknowns and learn from my mistakes (as if time travel is possible for me right now, anyways– maybe for the government or something, but not for me). I’m quite content rolling with the punches as they come, in the order they’re meant to come (which is in chronological order– the ones I’m supposed to face as a 11-year-old, I’m not going to face again, at least not in the exact same way), even if it does mean no second chances. I’m fine with living with my mistakes, because it also means living with my triumphs. And who would I be without my mistakes? A stuck-up person who can’t learn, because everyone makes mistakes, and if I think I don’t, then I obviously don’t pay enough attention to learn from them, and… well, Houston, we have a problem.

I’ll end on a thought to ponder that I’ve always wondered about– how can time be reversible if it’s relative? Like weight, it changes with location. And we invented time, so how can we turn back the clock? Time only exists in our minds (whoa, my brain physically feels weird re-reading that, but it’s true!). Without us, there’s no one to measure time, therefore, time doesn’t exist.

I think there’d be both good and bad aspects of not knowing about time. I’ll start with the good. We’d never be late. We wouldn’t have to stress about deadlines. It would be a whole new world. We’d live simply. The world would live simply, be a simple place in general.

But, despite all the possible pros of no concept of time, I do believe we know about time for a reason. And that reason is just as Mitch Albom said. If our days weren’t limited, would we care about our actions of now? We would have infinite time to make up for it, which would turn into “nah, I’ll make up for it later, cuz I still have infinite time.” No one would forgive because nobody would try to fix anything, since “oh, we could just do it tomorrow.” And that, my friends, would be a big problem.

I’m glad our days are numbered. While I wish everyone went at the expected time, like parents first, then children, that’s not always the way it works. But you know what– where would we be if we lived forever? Eventually, we would run out of room on the planet, run out of resources, and there’s be a full-out war. Who knows if anyone (or anything) would be left afterwards?

I’m not going to experiment with time and space, even if I ever miraculously get the chance. I’m no better than any one of you– I’m just here to live my life in the best way possible, then move on. And if I traveled through time, that wouldn’t happen, which isn’t something I want, even if it were possible. So, even if given the chance, I’m going to continue living for now. Because this is where it all is.

The past is the past– it’s already happened. The future is determined by our actions now. I want to be part of the future, so I’ll live for now and help make it. And that’s good enough for me.

-Sam

P.S. As always, the original image URLs, if not mine, can be found by simply clicking the image. Also, this was written in response to this week’s Weekly Writing Challenge.

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My 8th Grade Work Is Better Than Any Professional Work I’ve Read

Hey! So, have you ever made something that you’ve absolutely fallen in love with, and you think it’s way better than professionals could do? Well, that’s how I feel about my poem. I’m a little on-the-fence about sharing it, but I want people to see it because I love it so much, so I will. Here it is:

By: Samantha Murphy

I remember the time

We were learning to rhyme

When we learned 2 + 2 = 4.

I remember the day

We were a long time away

From finding who we are at the core.

Those were good times

When we could cry and whine

And we wouldn’t get sent out the door.

Going even farther back

When the clothes on the rack

Labeled “T” fit us quite well.

When we could do no wrong

And then for so long

The adults were all in a spell.

When the shadows were scary-

They were monsters and hairy

And would eat us as far as we could tell.

I remember when we

As far as anyone could see

Were little angels, sent from above.

But some things stay the same

And the thing that always came

And still does is never ending love.

That was when I truly realized my writing talent. I mean, I knew I was good at writing before then, but I wrote this over the course of less than ten minutes, using only my mind. Something funny- I just re-read the paper that I was given in 8th grade, and apparently I was supposed to write it on a separate piece of paper. Oops 🙂 Oh well. I still got a 100 on it.

Anyways, this is why I write. Because I love what I come out with. And I just love to write, period. The end. End of story.

I can only write because I love to read, of course. And my love of reading started in the 1st grade, when I brought home Lemony Snicket’s The Bad Beginning, the first book of A Series Of Unfortunate Events. An amazing series, by the way. But, back to my story.

Yes, as a 1st grader, I had my mom read it to me every night before bed. And we read through the whole series. THAT was when my love of reading really started.

My love of writing started in the 3rd grade, when we had to write a short story. I wrote a little something about some characters called Lameia, Haikee, and Sankium. I’ve now turned that little story into The Crystal Guardians: Book 1, which is found here on Wattpad.

My goal is to be published before I turn 18 on September 11, 2016. And I plan to reach that goal, so watch for some new book published by Samantha Murphy in 2016.

-Sam

P.S. This was written in response to this week’s Weekly Writing Challenge. And as always, the original image URL can be found by simply clicking the image.

Stupid Confirmation Retreat

Hey! So, this is a scheduled post, because, guess what?! Today (tomorrow when I’m writing this post) I’m at a 12-hour confirmation retreat. Yippee. Oh what fun. Ha. Yeah, right. They’re so boring, except for the two we’ve had at a cathedral in Providence. Those were pretty fun, or at least interesting. I’ll tell you how it went later. Bye (wish me luck! I’ll need it 😦 )!

-Sam

Meet The Genius Who’s Failing History (A.K.A. Me)

Hey! I just realized something now, something that I don’t think has ever really hit me before- I want to be successful. So badly. But right now, when I say that I’ll be successful… well, it’s not gonna happen if I don’t make some major life improvements. And fast. I have so many goals for the future (some of them realistic and down-to-earth, and some of them a little out-of-the-ordinary), but many of them depend on my achievements of now and of the next few years, like if I attend a good college. I want to be comfortable with money. I don’t want to have to worry about sending my future (six?) kids to private schools because the public school sucks (it might not, but I want to stay living in my town when I grow up, so unless there are some major changes, then that’s going to be a reality). I want to be able to donate a shit-ton of money to childhood cancer research, because those kids are worth more than 3%. I want to be someone big.

Have I ever mentioned before that my favorite car ever is a yellow Porsche 911 Turbo? And no, it’s not because of Alice Cullen. Not at all. I loved this car before New Moon was even published (I think that’s the one where Alice and Bella steal the car to save Edward?). To be honest, my love for this car is because of a video game, Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit 2 (PS2 version). Which, by the way, was released on October 1, 2002. Yes, I know, I was only four then, but we got it a couple years later when my Uncle gave my brother and I our very own PS2 (yes, I was a video game addict at probably the age of 7). Now, back to the point. As you should know, it’s a lot of money. But if I’m successful, I can eventually buy one. Except, if I keep going at this rate, I’m not even going to go to college.

This is the best car ever. Seriously.

Did you know that I’m a genius? No, seriously- my IQ (I forget the exact number, I’ll ask my mom later and then give you an update) is above the number that is considered to be genius (I’ll ask my mom on what that number is and get back to you on that one, too). Also, like I said in a previous post, I scored in the top 1% in the country when I took the placement exam for my high school. I’m a literal genius, and I’m failing history. I got a 17 on a quiz. A freaking 17. I got straight A’s in elementary and middle school, and now I’m doing horrible in high school. Why? How? I know that really, really smart people (like me, apparently) tend to do really, really bad in school, but my question is this: if I’m called an enigma in literally everything else, then why must I be normal in this case? To be blunt, it seriously blows.

I don’t understand why I’m having so much trouble in school. I mean, it’s not like I hate it. Quite the contrary, actually- I love my school, and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I actually cry when I think about leaving BCHS. Especially because I’d be leaving Mr. Rose and Ms. Picone. Now that would suck, leaving them. I just, I don’t know what’s going on. Why can’t I do it? Like I said, I’m a freaking genius! I should be able to do this easily. Why can’t I? Why?

My parents say I might not go back to BCHS next year if there isn’t some drastic improvement in both my grades and my behavior (that’s for another post, in which my confusion will most likely be very clear). That scares me. So much. For one, because that would mean going back to my town’s school, where the kids are just plain cruel, horrible excuses for human beings. But mostly because that would mean leaving so much behind. I would be leaving my friends (the only non-BCHS friend I have is Gabby), Mr. Rose, Ms. Picone, the general niceness of BCHS, the helpfulness… everything. That right there terrifies me. I can’t leave this. I can’t.

I’m in so much trouble, for everything that’s happened (and some things that haven’t), it’s not even funny. I’m pretty much under house arrest without being a literal criminal. I’m not allowed to do anything, even watch Grey’s Anatomy D: Which really, really sucks, because now I’m two episodes behind. Besides that, my parents have a meeting with my school on Monday at 3:00, and they’re making me go (so, pray, think, whatever you do, for me at 3:00 pm EST on Monday! I’ll need it! 😦 ), so that should be torture. I want to cry just thinking about it. But besides that, because I’m in trouble, my stupid oldest brother (he’s 13) has been trying to feed in to my parent’s anger to try and get me in trouble. Here’s an example: two nights ago, he had to switch over the laundry. He was mad at me for some reason, and he closed the basement door when he went downstairs. Well, I went to tell my mom something (luckily) and all of a sudden we hear a bang and a “HEY!” This repeats a few times until my mom says “knock it off! She’s up here!” My brother goes “Oh” and the basement door squeaks open. He barely got in trouble for it, though. And he denied it, saying the door was jammed. But do you see what I mean?!

My life is filled with “if’s” and question marks. Because right now, that’s what my future is. One big question mark. I could be a huge success. But, the way I’m going, I could be a giant failure. I really don’t know. I wish I could say, “I’m going to be a success!” But I honestly don’t know right now. And that’s sad.

Which way will I go?

Seriously, though, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m about to fail history for the year, and my life is falling apart. I really, really hope it gets better, but one question lingers in the back of my mind: what if it doesn’t? Well, I don’t know, Sam. I just don’t know.

-Sam

P.S. As always, the original image URLs can be found by clicking the images.

The Worst Part About Being Grounded Is Not Being Able To Watch Grey’s Anatomy

Hey. Well, I’m really sad. I know, I know, enough about Grey’s Anatomy, but I love it so much, and it’s a huge part of my life, so that’s why I write about it a lot. Anyways, in case you didn’t know, it was on last night, because it was Thursday yesterday. I was in bed, trying (unsuccessfully) to sleep (I sleep less when I’m sick, unlike everyone else in the world), and all of a sudden I hear Meredith Grey’s voice, talking like she does in the beginning of every Grey’s Anatomy episode. I groan, because really, Mom? You just had to torture me like that, didn’t you? I didn’t want to listen, for two reasons. One, I wasn’t allowed to watch the last episode, because I was grounded, so I was an episode behind. And two, I didn’t want to listen and then watch it later, because that isn’t as entertaining (even though it’s still enjoyable). So, I tried (also unsuccessfully) to block out the sound for an hour by putting my pillow and blankets over my head to block out the sound (which is really hard to do if you still want to be able to breathe). I eventually resorted to saying “la la la la la la la” for forty five minutes. Yeah, it wasn’t fun. But it was better than hearing spoilers, seeing as I haven’t watched the last episode yet. Anyways, I have to go do some homework. Bye!

-Sam

Being Sick While Grounded Really Sucks

Hey. So, I have strep throat. And I’m also not going to school tomorrow, which means I’m missing my art field trip. It’s kinda funny, because I’ve never made a single art field trip in my life, out of the two or three that I’ve had. That sucks, too, though, because Mr. Sampl’s trip tomorrow sounds pretty fun. Anyways, being grounded while home sick seriously blows. I can’t really do anything, since I have no new books to read. Actually, I think I’ll ask my mom to take me to Barnes and Noble tonight…. I’ll have to get back to you on that. Anyways, sorry for the short post, but this is all the time I can afford to risk, me being grounded and all 😦 Bye!

-Sam