And People Wonder Why I’m Always Pissed….

Hey. I haven’t even been eighteen for two weeks and my life is already spiraling back to the same hellish state it’s been for years. Freaking Amanda, my sister (she’s ten now), just can’t help herself from making up lie after lie about me to get me in trouble, and my parents just eat it up, because God forbid Sam ever be allowed to not be the “problem child.” Screw that. Seriously, how the hell am I supposed to coexist with these assholes if they don’t even let me try and be good?!

I’d been doing much better at controlling myself in the midst of all of this bullshit for awhile, but these past few days have been harder. I don’t know why. All I know is that I can’t wait to get my shit together and get the hell out of here. I’m so fucking tired of being the family scapegoat for fucking everything! It’s always my fault, somehow. Doesn’t matter if I’m in a different room, or not even home, everything always ends up back at me. Seriously, I can’t make this shit up. Fuck this.

And, of course, anyone who observes this always assumes that my parents are automatically right and always have some prior reason to be extra pissed off at me this time. I can’t even really vent to anyone because they always blame me! I want to scream and cry and punch holes into walls and kick down doors and a bunch of other super-destructive shit like taking a baseball bat and smashing shit, but it’s not like I can do any of that, and imagining karma coming back to bite them in their asses isn’t really cutting it anymore. One of these days I’m just gonna snap, and I don’t know what’s gonna happen then. I really don’t. It scares me, it truly does.

Fuck this shit.

-Sam

P.S. I’m not gonna kill myself or my family or anything (because apparently I need to clarify this). Honestly, I think that would be a cop-out. Really not my style. I’m more of a flip-’em-the-bird, fuck-you-all-I-succeeded-despite-all-of-your-bullshit person, anyway.

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I Have A Strong Dislike For People

Hey. I’ve talked about how I coach baseball before, right? Well, last night was our first playoff game. Overall it was a pretty good game, even though we ended up losing by one, but that’s not the point. During the game, one of the parents from the other team said something about one of the kids on my team. The asshole said something along the lines of, “this kid shouldn’t be playing with eight-year-olds” or something like that. Now, that isn’t what pissed me off, but it annoyed me a bit, since the minor league goes up to age 12 and the kid in question, who I will refer to as M, is barely considered a ten-year-old this season (had he been born a month later than he was, he would’ve actually been considered a nine-year-old this season). However, I could see why someone might think that. M is a pretty big kid, and a wicked strong player.

Ugh People

Anyway, I decided to go over there and just tell the parent that, hey, M actually just turned ten, there’s no reason why he shouldn’t be playing with eight-year-olds. I figured the parent had made that comment because he was worried about his kid playing against M, maybe worried that his kid might get hurt because M’s such a good (and powerful) player, and I actually just wanted to set the record straight so he wouldn’t have to worry about it. That’s the only reason I went over there at all. So, I go over there and make a couple comments about how this is a really good game, and how I feel bad for some of the pitchers because a lot of perfect strikes were being called balls by the umpire. Small talk, you know? I was talking with a couple of the parents for a minute about how it could be worse, though, and the umpire could be favoring one team over the other, so at least he’s calling balls and strikes the same for each team, even if he is saying the strikes are balls.

After a minute or two of this, I was like, “Oh, and whoever said M shouldn’t be playing with eight-year-olds, he actually just turned ten about a month ago, so he’s well within his age range.” One of the parents pretty much flips out and is like, “What are you doing, coming over here just to start something?” I’m kinda taken aback at this point. Like, seriously, I wasn’t nasty about it at all, and just wanted to correct them to make them feel better. I said, “I’m not trying to cause trouble or anything, I just wanted to say that there’s no reason why M shouldn’t be playing with eight-year-olds,” but the asshole just kept going. He was like, “I’m not gonna listen to some smart-ass teenager who doesn’t know how to respect adults. Why don’t you just go back to your own side, little girl?” Ugh, even thinking about it right now is pissing me off all over again!

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At this point, I was really starting to get pissed off. I just said, “Respect is earned, and you’re not acting like an adult right now,” which, okay, maybe wasn’t the best way to try and keep the peace, but hey, I’ve never been one to just stand there while people insult me. I was so freaking pissed at this point. Then- get this!- he yells across the field, “Hey Tigers, you wanna come get your little girl and bring her back to your side?!” and one of the coaches from the other team hears and comes over. He says to me, “Hey, come on, just leave them alone,” which I don’t blame him for, because he only heard the asshole, but still. It was annoying that he was so quick to blame me, because I’ve been involved with this baseball league for over a decade, and I’m umpired a lot of his games, so I know he knows I’m not a bad kid or a troublemaker or anything, but whatever. At that point, I just walked back over to the other side and tried to keep my mouth shut, because it just wasn’t worth it.

I freaking hate people who think they’re better than you just because they’re older. That’s bullshit. Ugh. See? This is why I don’t like people! Everyone always thinks I’m kidding when I say, “I just have a strong dislike for people in general,” but I’m being completely honest. People in general just piss me off.

List Of Reasons Not To Like You.gif

If there’s one thing I absolutely cannot stand, it’s when people have that “holier than thou” attitude. Ugh. Seriously. I just… ugh!

Well, that’s it for now. Hopefully I’ll keep posting. Bye!

-Sam

P.S. As always, the links to the original pages can be found by clicking the images.

Just To Clarify….

Hey. I know my last post may have seemed full of hatred toward my sister; however, that is not the case. While, yes, I was super pissed at her for acting the way she did and getting me into a shitload of trouble, I love her more than life itself. She’s my little sister and I would give my life for her in a heartbeat. She’s just a fucking asshole at times (but aren’t we all?).

Ugh. I’ve been sick literally this entire fucking month! I missed every single school day from Friday, October 30, through and including the entire next week. My first day back was last Monday. And, top it off, I’m fucking sick again! My throat is fucking killing me, and MY ENTIRE FUCKING BODY HURTS!! I can’t deal with this! Ugh!

-Sam

My Annoying, Manipulative, Conniving Little Sister

Hey. I’m back, hopefully for good this time. I’ve been neglecting this for well over a year now, and I’ve come to realize just how soothing it really is to post all of my shit here. God, where do I even start…?

Well, I suppose I’ll start with right now. My fucking sister, Amanda. She’s nine now. I’ve never been anywhere near as fucking pissed off at her as I am at this moment and have been recently. My mom brought my two brothers to football practice, where my dad already was, so me and Amanda were gonna stay home alone. She was to do her homework and I was to do mine. Okay, sure. Fair enough. Right?

Yeah, well, literally the second my mom closes the front door, Amanda starts being bitchy. Her new ploy to get me in trouble is to pretty much make up a whole fucking argument with me in her head, where she’s actually yelling at me in real life but I’m still SILENTLY SITTING IN THE FUCKING RECLINER WHILE TYPING MY HOMEWORK. Remember, my mom hasn’t even been out of the house for a fucking minute yet. So I turn to look at her and say simply, “Do your homework.” I’m actually quite proud of myself for keeping myself so calm.

Anyways, she does that fucking little pretend gasp thing that you really only see the shallow, bitchy girl in all those stupid Disney movies do. “That’s it, I’M telling MOM!” So my sister seriously fucking sprints to the front door, rips it open, and runs out after my mom (who isn’t even in her fucking car yet!!), screaming how I’m already yelling at her and telling her to shut up.

Excuse me?!

Naturally, my mom believes the little conniving nine-year-old over her eldest, seventeen-year-old daughter who was left in charge and hadn’t moved an inch since she walked out the door. I hear her yell my name – “Samantha Rose Murphy, get out here right now!” – and I go over to the door just in time to get yelled at about how I better not give Amanda any crap and to just leave her alone. After about five or ten “OKAY, Mom!”s, my sister and I are back inside again and my mom gets in her car and drives away.

I tell Amanda, “Okay, you heard Mom, start getting that homework done.” What does she say to me in return, you ask? Why, a fierce “shut up!” of course. Taking a deep breath to try and keep my cool (which is definitely starting to slip by now), I say to her something along the lines of, enough with the attitude, I’m the babysitter, I’m in charge, just do your homework so I can leave you alone. “Don’t make me call Mom!” she threatens, and I’m almost unable to stop myself from laughing, but luckily I hold it in, telling her to go ahead, try it, before turning back to my computer.

She proceeds to search the house for the next five minutes, looking for one of our house phones. When she finds it, she calls my mom’s cell. The first time, she leaves a message, and is (no joke) in the middle of telling the answering machine how I screamed at her to shut up and how I’m just being a big jerk to her. I call over very, very calmly and tell her to stop making up stories. She SCREAMS at me “SHUT UP!!!!” while still talking to the answering machine and starts screaming/crying. You know, that screeching kids do when they’re trying to fake sob? Yeah, that.

She then redials my mom’s number. This time, my mom picks up. Amanda goes straight into her act, telling my mom, “Mooooooommmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyy, Sammi’s being a big jerk! She’s yelling at me and calling me names and telling me to shut up!”

Which, might I remind you, is a total, 100% lie. Seriously. I am NOT making this up. Honestly? I wish I were….

My mom tells her to “put your sister on the phone right now!” Already having another handheld right next to me, I press talk and tell Amanda to hang up since I’m on with the other phone. Naturally, she yells “NO!” and of course my mom doesn’t care. She goes right into shouting at me to take my stuff and get into my room and don’t interact with Amanda and just leave her alone. I will admit that I reached my limit during this “conversation” (more like sentencing!) and snapped. I yelled at my mom over the phone, “She’s lying! Really, Mom, I’ve literally done nothing except tell her to do her homework and not be a little brat to me!”

My mom ends up screaming back at me, “I DON’T CARE, JUST GET INTO YOUR ROOM, AND IF I GET ANOTHER CALL I’M COMING BACK TO GET HER AND THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY!!!” Of course, we exchange more than just that summarization, but you get the point. I hang up and proceed to my room where I very gently close the door so I don’t accidentally slam it in my anger.

Anyways, about ten, fifteen minutes later, my mom bangs on my door. I’m super confused and ask her “why are you here, you said you weren’t gonna get her unless there was another problem?” to which she responds “maybe just think about it!” Very meanly, might I add. She then proceeds to yell in my face (literally – her toes were touching mine) to make sure I shower, do the dishes, and send my homework to her (because God forbid I actually send it to just my teacher, right? Nooooooo, cuz I would totally be lying about that unless she fucking sees it which is stupid because she’s so fucking technologically inept I get in trouble because she doesn’t know how to fucking open and view my work anyways!!). She then wordlessly turns and slams the front door on her way out, refusing to acknowledge me asking “what the hell just happened?!?!” Of course, I don’t ask like that since I don’t swear at all in front of her, but still.

And so is the story of my life. I wish I could say this is a rare, even isolated occurrence, but, alas, it is not. Not even close. I have to deal with this shit every single day! Sometimes I’m actually stumped how I haven’t literally exploded and how my guts don’t cover the walls of my house yet.

I’ll try to start doing the whole blog thing regularly again. Like, I said, I miss you guys. Later.

-Sam

P.S. Oh yeah, and on top of everything else, I’ve been sick since early Friday morning. Yeah, like I even have the fucking energy to be a fucking asshole to you, Amanda….

I Hate It When I Can’t Think Of A Name For My Story!

Hey. Ugh! Last night, watching Wicked, I got this great idea for a story, and I want to make the cover, but I can’t because I CAN’T COME UP WITH A FREAKING TITLE FOR IT!!! It’s so freaking annoying! And this has almost never happened before, and when it has, I’m normally able to come up with a name within the hour, nevermind a day! Alright, now that I’ve got that rant off my chest, I think I’m done for now. I might have some more deep stuff for you later, but right now, I’m too irritated at not being able to come up with a title to spew anything nice and deep, so that’ll have to wait. Sorry for the short post, especially after I said I’d try to get into the habit of longer posts, but I’m not in the mood to talk right now. Like I said, I just needed to get this off my chest (and keep my posting streak 🙂 ). Bye!

-Sam

Starting A Hate Train (Sorry Gabby)

Hey. So, I’m starting a hate train. I stole the idea from my blogging friend over at gabbyisspeaking. Anyways, my first hate is ~drumroll~ autocorrect. Like just now, I tried to put ‘sucks’ and it made it Sufis. What the hell is Sufis?! And when I put ‘hate’ it puts hats or hatred or bate. What the fuck? And it won’t say fuck, only duck and tuck! Like, I know what I want to say so DON’T FRICKEN CORRECT ME! But of course, it won’t correct words that I actually spell wrong. Fucking autocorrect. I hate it. Well, my rant is over. Bye for now!
-Sam